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March 21, 2019

COME ON, YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO

Everybody's doing it: Google Florida Man and your birthday

(Thanks to Howard Cohen)

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I got, "Florida man shot at roommate over cat hair on couch". My birthday is April 28th. Start saving your money for my present.

Pretty cool. I got something about FL man attacks roommate with pizza.

The naked man in the video reminded me of a song from the 60's.

We are stardust, we are golden
We are billion year old carbon
And we got to get ourselves back to the garden

Waiting for " Flathead County Man ".

"Florida Man Says He Went ‘Bananas,’ Shot Out Utility Workers’ Tires" (July 20). He didn't want them to leave the neighborhood.

I can sympathize. I recently had utility workers leave the neighborhood without restoring my electricity. Dang, I never thought to make them finish at gunpoint.

My birth date and year: "FLORIDA MAN DIES IN CASCO CRASH." I wouldn't have guessed the ISO's Conformity Assessment Committee was so reckless.

All I got was a rock.

-Charlie Brown

I got two: One was of a violent nature, which I won't share. The other was "Florida man tries to exchange marijuana for food at McDonald's," which I think was posted here on the blog.

Report: Armed Florida man yells 'get out of my country' to 2 McDonald's customers.

I got a very Dave-related one. A Florida Man got attacked by a squirrel who was supposedly "trained" by his neighbor.

I got a rock. (On that date in 2018 Florida man punched and squeezed a 7 week old girl; girl later died.)

August 13: Florida man told McDonald's ice cream machine broken, pulls out weapon.

Oh crap.

"Florida man attacked by a ‘crazy squirrel’ gone nuts. And it was raised by a neighbor"

Congratulations Jeff and Rudolph

Florida man arrested for shoplifting after job interview
Classy

My wife got: Florida Man who allegedly threatened his family with Coldplay lyrics (that heartless b@stard!) surrenders after SWAT team promises him slice of pizza.

[T]he Florida Marlins’ Double-A affiliate is embracing the local legend, the “Florida Man,” with a special promotional night where they claim they will attempt to break a weird Florida law every inning, the team announced.

“There WILL be a lawyer in the house!” the team tweeted when a law office agreed to sponsor the night.

As a recovering law librarian, I'm pretty sure this is perfect

I got "Florida man drives golf cart drunk, growls like dog and gives deputies the middle finger".

The article didn't say what kind of dog Florida Man growled like. Shoddy journalism...

February 24: Florida man accuses dog of shooting girlfriend in leg

So, I get the 39 year old Florida Man beating up his 78 year old girl friend over an unpaid Direct TV bill. This is just wrong on so many levels...

Are we doing a group gift for nursecindy's birthday next month or are we all on our own?

"Florida man arrested for having sex with a miniature horse"

My birthdate resulted in "Florida Man With Monkey Arrested For Stealing A Car" - fortunately for all involved, the monkey was wearing a diaper. (Alas, there was no mention of whether the monkey had a Florida driver's license.)

Florida man’s murder was really elaborate suicide by balloon

😢

Hey! For a REALLY funny article, Google "Florida Man" with your birthday, full name, and Social Security number! LOL! If you're too busy, just send them to me instead of your GoogleBook Overlords and I'll check it out FOR you!

Mine was a biker chick who was murdered on a Tindr date. So maybe educational, not so much funny and uplifting.

As usual, Georgia Man is a day late and a dollar short...

"Florida man convicted of killing former FSU mascot in gumbo spice dispute"

That and "About 295,000,000 results."

Florida woman cuts man's face after he refuses to have sex with her.

August 20: "Florida man accused of biting 2 toddlers dozens of times"

I tried a few other states to see if it was just Florida or you could do that with any state. Well, I'll show you what I got when I googled "New Jersey Man" and my birthday:

August 20: "Florida man killed in wrong-way crash on New Jersey Turnpike"

That says it all, folks.

I got a naked man story...
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.tampabay.com/news/publicsafety/naked-florida-man-revealed-on-video-sneaking-into-restaurant-and-munching-on-ramen-20181112/%3ftemplate=amp

@C. "Thunder Lizard" Robbin - I’m in - here’s my two cents.

Originally posted 11/1/2018:

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.pnj.com/amp/1849705002

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.pnj.com/amp/1849705002

Pensacola man arrested for barging into homes seeking someone to fight him

Originally posted 11/1/2018.

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