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March 05, 2019


More than 1,500 live turtles found duct-taped and stuffed in suitcases

(Thanks to Le Petomane and Asher Scheiner)


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Maybe that's what Trump was thinking of when he talked about the (supposed) duct-taped women.

Is there a problem, officer?

"Turtles? Those are soup ingredients."
(Excuse that failed to get traction.)

It's turtles all the way down.

"Boss, I'm sorry the cops nabbed your turtle shipment. We did just what you said, but there were so many we had to use a really big trunk to hold'em. The smell was pretty bad, but coppers is dumb. Maybe next time will work...Boss, you ain't mad are ya?"

Ooooo Le Pet. Bebop or Rocksteady ? I know this because my kids used to watch it. I only watched it since I was a concerned parent.

Shouldn't be too hard to build a wall to keep out duct taped turtles.

'SILENCE!' the King of Turtles barked back. "I'm king, and you're only a turtle named Mack."

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