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February 14, 2019


The woman on Jan. 27 reportedly hurled a remote at a 62-year-old woman, knocking that woman’s dentures out

(Thanks to pharmaross)


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Ummm... The state of inebriation?

This isn't an article you can sink your teeth into.

Believe me, I have been to Martin County and this is the most exciting thing that has happened there in, probably, ever.

How old were the women again? Note to writer of that article: It is not necessary to mention someone's age at the beginning of every sentence. Somebody needs a visit from Mr. Language Person.

That was one powerful puke. How did she swallow the remote in the first place?

Don't mess with them, regardless of age.

Can't you just press the " Eject Dentures " button on the remote ?

The 62-year-old woman said the 35-year-old woman picked up a TV remote, often powered by “AA” batteries, and threw it “with great force, knocking her dentures out of her mouth and onto the ground,” the report states.

In what universe does the size of the batteries form an essential part of the narrative? Now if the TV remote was powered with plutonium and used lasers it would actually be an interesting detail of the story.

Thank God they weren't A batteries.

I think the Florida Marlins of MLB should offer the lady a try-out. They really need good pitchers.

fractalist : Will Greenlee's "Off the Beat" column often provides gratuitous descriptions of common objects used in incidents he reports. Check his other columns for illuminating explanations of things like Pepsi, machete, and hair weave.

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