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January 22, 2019

SOUTH FLORIDA WILDLIFE: WILDER THAN YOUR WILDLIFE

This was hanging on our front door this morning:

20190122_101658

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I saw Invasive Escargot open for Coldplay.

In my neighborhood, we got door hangars for Girl Scout cookie sales.

FreshFromFlorida.com? Are they going to tell you how to get rid of them, or how to make an entree of them?

Is a Land Snail related to a Land Shark?

...and, whatever you do, STOP ELECTING THEM!!!

A snail, I can deal with.

It's these other Florida creatures that are a cause of concern:

https://m.ranker.com/list/deadly-florida-animals/crystal-brackett

wanderer .. their website is legit.

Giant African Land Snails (GALS)

As ever: Do not mess with these GALS.

Rumor has it they hunt in packs and use techniques like the wild dogs in Africa. When they come across prey, they cut one member out of the herd, and then run it to ground over the next six weeks...

They all have FL driver's licenses and despite their size they drive really slow.

@manual tomato--We might add that the Giant African Land Snails with FL driver's licenses also can be identified by a small, continually flashing light on the lower left of their shells.

In case you don't want to narc on a snail:

Housing the Giant African Land Snail
A good sized, well-ventilated plastic or glass tank with a secure lid is required for this species. For just a few full-grown snails, you would need a 5- to 10-gallon tank.

Pieces of wood, cork bark or clay flower pots provide an interesting landscape and hiding spots for the snails. The substrate will need to be cleaned out weekly. Mist the tank daily to keep the substrate slightly damp (not wet, however). Snails need constant moisture in order to prevent dehydration and shell problems.

Although they come from a tropical climate, giant African land snails seem to adapt well to lower temperatures. The tank temperature would need to be between 70 and 77 degrees Fahrenheit, so you would have to use heat strips, which will require you to pay closer attention to the humidity. And if you are heating the cage, it will dry out faster, so you will need to make sure the humidity is maintained.

If these snails showed up here in SO CA, the city would be required to find housing for each of them before they could be removed from public streets. I'm pretty sure my tax dollars have goner to putting some of them up in hotels to get them away from Angel's stadium. Despite the danger.

A pretty big snail was removed from a nearby park nest to the city library and a grade school a couple of weeks and relocated here.

I wonder if a little cocaine in their water would make that escargot?

That looks like a movie poster from the 50's


*slowly heads towards the geezer bus*

"Do not give it away...". Who would give these away ? I suppose maybe to an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend ?

@maryqos--I can't remember; was it a giant snail or an eggplant that ate Chicago?

Le Petomane-I thought that was a bovine?

LeDud, Valentine's Day is just around the corner!

The third option is to introduce it into the Everglades. Maybe they eat pythons?

we're going to need more garlic butter.

Dave hasn't been heard from for a few hours. You don't think...no, don't even think it.

Didn't GM discontinue their Escargot line? I believe that orders were moving at a snail's pace.

Be on the lookout for hungry French people!

These things multiply rapidly? Well, there's at least ONE thing that they don't do slowly!

To whom would one give a snail? And why? Discuss.

Alternative poster message:

So lock up your daughter
Lock up your wife
Lock up your back door
And run for your life

Cause I'm T.N.T. I'm dynamite

France claims them! Und if you don't return them, we will eat garlic and fart in your etc.

I wonder if they would eat fleas? Maybe bedbugs are to them escargot 🐌... fleas and then bedbugs are the lowest forms of life.

These things are nasty — and spreading.

Ralph,

I thought it was a picture of congress. WHEW!

Going to need more salt.

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