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January 10, 2019

PENISES IN THE NEWS

Male sex robots with unstoppable bionic penises are coming this year

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

Newsreader mocked for wearing 'penis jacket' on TV - people 'can't unsee it'

(Thanks to John Lobert, pharmaross and Emily Leslie and w)

Comments

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The Unstoppable Bionic Penises are on tour now, opening for Kid Rock.

"...and Betty when you call me, you can call me Al." Paul Simon was soooo ahead (har!) of his time.

Also, what happens when the female 'platform' gets it on with the male 'platform'?

Discuss.

John Wayne Bobbit would take issue with the "unstoppable penis part."

"Our once impassioned relationship is not what it used to be. You are just going through the motions."

"are coming this year"

Sounds messy.

Paul Simon needs to update that song, such as:

" and Betty Alexa, you cal call me AlDick Robutto....

They should make the robots play the bionic sound effects from the Six Million Dollar Man. (Even though it's not a bionic penis because there's no biological component. It's just a mechanical penis, i.e. a dildo.)

No cigarette and nap...?

So, how much will these male sex robots cost? Will it know how to snuggle? A friend wants to know.

Cue the theme music.

There is a news I just saw on the Drudge site that Alexa now can control a smart dildo.

Unstoppable Bionic Penises seem to be missing from the CDC's list of controlled substances, because if they are unstoppable, they could do a lot of damage.


The Mocking Penis Jacket was declared an cruel and unusable punishment in Texas.

Aliens no longer have a corner on scientific probing. Earth has caught up.

Pretty sure I saw UBP open for Bow Wow Wow.

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