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January 08, 2019

IT WAS ASKING FOR IT

"Upon arrival, (the officer) observed the described female wrestling with a blow up snowman Christmas decoration in front of Magic City Stoves," according to the police report.

(Thanks to Ralph)

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"Upon arrival, (the officer) observed the described female wrestling with a blow up snowman Christmas decoration in front of Magic City Stoves," according to the police report.

Hypothesis: She had written several drunken letters to Frosty the Snowman complaining about his TV soecials and he never wrote back.

That's no way to treat a jolly, happy soul.

Nothing to see here, folks, nothing to see...except a drunken woman wrestling with a blow-up snowman. No erotic implications whatsoever; nope, uh-uh...

.. Magic City of Stoves..?

Meanwhile, the inflatable snowman abides.
The mad girl's shouting, err betides.
Still shrieks and whispers from thy insides
As morning wakens, thy conscience decides.

Shouldn't the police report say a "blow-up" snowman? Is "anal-retentive" hyphenated?


To continue MOTW's waxing of Edgar Allan Poe:

Once upon another day cold and dreary
With scores more coming also dreary
Magic Stoves helped no more
The stricken lady drank whiskey to sooth the sore
But the police said she could drink nevermore

Now to the cold and dreary land she says farewell
The Grey Dog is taking her to a land warm and swell
The magical home of Ponce de Leon
Where it's always warm in the kingdom called Florida

I'm guessing that snowman was from the Island of Forgotten Toys.

Paging Betty Ford STAT!

*schedules book signings for MOTW and Le Petomane*

Are they sure that she wasn't just taking down the Holiday Decorations?
I mean, some of the decorations are pretty complex and she may just have been having issues deflating the Snowman.

You didn't read the article, did you, Rintinglen? She had a LOT of issues,
just sayin'.

Good one dear

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