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January 07, 2019

HARD PASS

Kohler’s smart toilet promises a ‘fully-immersive experience

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)

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As a person who takes the gastric-assisting medication Metformin, I can imagine Alexa asking if something can be repeated.

For the sake of society and anything that is considered holy, the answer would have to be "no"

"Alexa, please light a match."

Ummm — the terms "toilet" and "fully immersive" should never occur in the same sentence, let alone the same article.

Also, do the built-in surround sound speakers play background music — or do they just amplify the existing sound effects of the excretory process?

Asking for a friend...

I own a Kohler V.1 inelegant dumb toilet. I had to unclog it last week with a snake, and it's annoying to clean. I don't want the "intelligent" version if's going to complain and nag me.

You have got to be sh!tting me.

"Why go anywhere else?" indeed.

Pooping - Come Back Later

Folks, it not only records your voice and toilet usage, it can also collect and ship samples to the TSA and/or CIA so that can analyze your matter.

Step right up, and grab one now. Installation is also on sale for under $500!

I thought a "fully-immersive experience" is what happens when the toilet clogs.

"Fully lmmersive" happens when you leave the seat up at night

I can remember a time when if your toilet became fully immersive and started talking to you, we blamed Timothy Leary.

Voice Activated Commands? Exactly how many things do most consumers want their toilet to do?

@Ralph - Tiger snake or Florida python?

Fully immersive is dropping your phone in the toilet. BTDT.

If it plays the Star Spangled Banner and you stand up.

I want to design a toilet for guys to play music when they raise the lid. I'm thinking about Aerosmith's "Big 10" Inch Record" as the first song, but I'm sure there must be others that would be equally suitable.

And it could play Barry Manilow's "It's a Miracle" when/if they closed the lid.

PB, you almost made me snork coffee through my nose.

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