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January 31, 2019

OR PERHAPS THIS IS JUST A DAILY MAIL FIXATION

Weather forecast map tracking arctic blast that's crippling the Midwest looks uncannily like a pair of breasts

(Thanks to Ralph and funny man)

OR, IN POLICE-RADIO CODE, A 10-117

8:08 p.m. A Kalispell man called 911 to report that he “felt like an octopus.” He then started singing Cher songs.

(Thanks to Roberto)

ANOTHER DAY IN THE SUNSHINE STATE

FLORIDA MAN ATTACKS WIFE WITH TACO BELL LUNCH 'CAUSING SOME TO GO UP INTO HER NOSE'

(Thanks to pharmaross)

IF THAT DOESN'T WIN HER HEART, WE DON'T KNOW WHAT WILL

New Mexico woman says she keeps getting pee-covered bologna from stranger

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WE HARDLY KNEW YE

A Democrat porn star is ending her long shot 2020 bid to “Make America F---ing Awesome Again” after her campaign failed to get off the ground.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

STUDENTS OF SOUTH DAKOTA:

Listen to Mr. Hot Dog.

Story here.

(Thanks to pharmaross and Not My Usual Alias)

 
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