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December 27, 2018


Seven-year-old calls 911 after getting snow pants for Christmas

(Thanks to The Perts, Allen at Division and N.N.)


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Good thing he didn't get a pink bunny suit from Aunt Clara. He'd have called out the National Guard.

Many years ago, my wife returned from a trip. She brought our (then 3 year old) son a beautifully wrapped ‘present'
The ribbon disappeared over his left shoulder.
The wrapping paper disintegrated under his attack.
The box top went over his right shoulder.
He held up the first item in the box, a themed sweatshirt. It joined the box top.
He held up the second item, matching sweat pants. They joined the ribbon.
Looking at the empty box, he cried ‘where’s the present?’
My wife answered ‘Those are the presents’
To which my son correctly replied ‘No. Those aren’t presents. Toys are presents’
To which I would have to agree.

I got an unusual gift from my dad this year. It was a note that said, "IOU one room of carpet". It was taped to a small carpet sample and he signed the note with his initials. My house flooded last spring so this is really a good present because my bedroom carpet needs to be replaced.
My neighbor got an IOU from her son saying he owed her one $50 Visa gift card. She still hasn't received the card. Her son is 42 years old and still lives at home with her. I told her not to hold her breath and to quit doing his laundry until he comes through with the gift. I also told her to tell him to forget the gift card and to put the $50 towards the first month's rent on an apartment.

Mom reminded him next year all He'll need for Christmas is his two front teeth.

Who can blame him?

Snow pants? Not an emergency. Underwear? Possibly... If they're basic "tighty-whities".

Guess he's gonna be shoveling snow.

The parents could exchange the snow pants for a big bag of coal...but, this would likely be entirely ineffective as an object lesson given that kids today don't even know what coal is.

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