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December 20, 2018

LAST-MINUTE CHRISTMAS-BOOK GIFT SUGGESTION NOT INTENDED TOTALLY HUMOROUSLY

Check out the last one.

DO NOT MESS WITH THEM

Seriously, do not.

(Thanks to Mac Turl)

WE WERE PROMISED FLYING CARS

AI computer chip that 'SMELLS your armpit and tells you if you have body odour' may one day be sewn into your clothes, scientists say

(Thanks to funny man)

December 19, 2018

NO DOUBT HEADED FOR FLORIDA

Car found hanging from tree after drunk driving crash

(Thanks to pharmaross)

IT WAS A SMALL HOUSE. BUT STILL.

St. Louis larceny reaches new milestone with theft of entire house

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

BOLO Update: Woman says stolen house spotted on highway headed for Calif.

(Thanks to Steve K)

FAR BE IT FROM THIS BLOG TO MAKE A JOKE ABOUT HER HAIR COLOR

Woman Goes Viral For Trying To Fill Up Her Electric Tesla With Gas

(Thanks to pharmaross)

IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR

Police taser out of control Salvation Army bell ringer outside Walmart

In that case, sir: Bell ringer, David Kelley, was reportedly rolling around in the parking lot, shouting, "I am John Wayne". As two female officers approached with tasers, Kelley allegedly thrust his hips and stated, "ladies."

(Thanks to Todd Lawson)

FLATHEAD COUNTY: WHERE THE ACTION NEVER STOPS

10:31 a.m. A Whitefish resident called 911 to report that they had finally captured video of their neighbor’s dog peeing on their porch.

(Thanks to Roberto)

DO NOT MESS WITH BRONX WOMEN

Mom takes down man trying to steal her car in Bronx

"Welcome to the Bronx."

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

GUYS IN HOLIDAY ACTION

Lad leaps through a Christmas tree netting machine - and then has to be cut free by his friend

(Thanks to Geoff)

SO IT'S OVERQUALIFIED FOR CONGRESS

Meet Lovot, the Japanese robot with the intelligence of a hamster, who will roam your house asking for hugs

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

SERIOUSLY, GIVE HIM A NOBEL PRIZE

Engineer uses glitter and fart smell to punish package thieves

Direct YouTube link here.

(Thanks to many people)

December 18, 2018

WE'VE SEEN THIS MOVIE

Mutant sharks found hiding out inside deadly underwater volcano which could erupt at any minute

(Thanks to Ralph)

IT WAS RELEASED AFTER PRODUCING A VALID FLORIDA SCHOOL-BUS-DRIVER'S LICENSE

400-pound hog captured in Palm Bay near school bus stop

(Thanks to pharmaross)

TIME FOR A NATIONWIDE PROTEST

'Fresh Prince' Star Alfonso Ribeiro Sues 'Fortnite' Maker for Using 'Carlton' Dance

(Thanks to Kevin Smith)

HO HO HOOOOOOOOOOOO

Santa ejected from sleigh during Disneyland parade

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)

SHE ALSO THREATENED TO FIGHT HIS WIFE

Pensacola woman beats ex with a board over a cat

(Thanks to Jane Linderman)

IT'S, LIKE, THE BARTER SYSTEM, DUDE

Florida man tries to trade marijuana for food at McDonald’s, police say

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, Commander McBragg, Janice Gelb, Another Ralph, pharmaross and Jane Linderman)

CSI: WISCONSIN

Life-sized cutout of Green Bay police chief warning against shoplifting swiped from store

(Thanks to Car Ramrod)

December 17, 2018

MORE APPROPRIATE FOR CHUCK E. CHEESE'S

Brutal mass brawl outside a Taco Bell.

(Thanks to Mac Turl)

CRUEL *AND* UNUSUAL

Missouri man must watch ‘Bambi’ monthly as part of poaching punishment, judge rules

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins, Rod Nunley and pharmaross)

O, HOLY... S**T!

In Catalonia, hidden among the traditional nativity characters is a little figure, trousers down, doing his business right in the middle of the holy scene.

(Thanks to Fabian Marson and funny man)

IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR

Drunk Utah man falls into Christmas tree before shooting at roommate, roommate's son

(Thanks to pharmaross)

December 16, 2018

AND AGAIN IN SPORTS

Chicago Blackhawks mascot Tommy Hawk fights fan in viral video

December 15, 2018

DO NOT MESS WITH AUSTRALIAN WOMEN

Woman Finds 13-Foot Python in Her Bed, Tosses It Out and Goes Back to Sleep

(Thanks to Rick Day)

AND IN SPORTS

Red meat and potato banned from World Pie Eating Championships over farting fears

(Thanks to Ralph and pharmaross)

HEY, WE ALL DO

“Quirky” Lawyer Acquitted of Stalking; Concedes He Did “Meow Randomly on Occasion”

(Thanks to John Lobert and Kevin Smith)

DETAILS, DETAILS

Plot to blast hole in North Carolina jail thwarted when plans mailed to wrong person

(Thanks to Jane Linderman)

December 14, 2018

GUYS IN ACTION

At least we assume it's a guy.

(Thanks to funny man)

SHOCKER

Seniors Who Have Sex Regularly Are More Content In Their Lives

(Thanks to funny man)

GOOD LUCK WITH THAT

Police seek return of cash spilled from truck in N.J.

(Thanks to pharmaross and funny man)

MARK YOUR CALENDAR

A naked bike ride through Edinburgh is planned for next summer

(Thanks to pharmaross)

LOGS ON THE FIRE FILL ME WITH DESIRE, FOR GRAVY

KFC is now selling a log that smells like fried chicken

(Thanks to many people)

INCLUDING 9,000 BOXES OF CRACKERS

Parrot who has made friends with its owner's Alexa keeps accidentally ordering things on Amazon

"Accidentally."

(Thanks to funny man and pharmaross)

December 13, 2018

THERE IS NOTHING LEFT TO BELIEVE IN

Keith Richards Reveals He’s Cut Back on Drinking

"It was interesting to play sober."

(Thanks to Steve K.)

'ROBOT BORIS HAS ALREADY LEARNED TO DANCE'

'Hi-tech robot' at Russia forum turns out to be man in suit

(Thanks to pharmaross, Roberto, Allen at Division and John Lobert)

GUYS IN ACTION

A Vermont man, involved in a long-running spat with local officials, erected a giant sculpture of the middle finger saluting city council with the one-finger wave.

(Thanks to Roberto, John Lobert and funny man)

SO HE DOESN'T EVEN GET THE ASSIST?

NHL referee crumbles to the ice after a puck deflects off his groin and into the net (but the goal didn't count)

(Thanks to what appears to be a mobile number with no name attached, that we can see, but thanks anyway)

ATTENTION, MOTORISTS OF GERMANY:

A ton of chocolate leaked from a factory and flooded a German street.

(Thanks to many people)

FLORIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Florida woman arrested after swinging bag filled with Chihuahuas at bar, police say

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

We saw Bag Filled With Chihuahuas open for Sting.

A BREAKTHROUGH IN AIRLINE CUISINE

"Even though greatest care has been taken, due to the nature of the product there is a very small risk of bullet fragments that could be found in the meal."

(Thanks to John Lobert)

TRY THIS WITH BAGPIPES AND YOU GET THE DEATH PENALTY

Man accused of stealing two saxophones, playing them in Missoula Police Department lobby

(Thanks to pharmaross)

HE HAD NO CHOICE: THE BUILDING WAS BETWEEN HIM AND FLORIDA

Naked driver crashes into apartment building

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

THAT'S A LOT OF PENGUIN POO

Supercolony of 1.5 million Adélie penguins discovered in Antarctica just last year through satellite images of their poo has been living in the Danger Islands for nearly 3,000 YEARS, study finds

(Thanks to Allen at Division and funny man)

IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR

Driver in Santa Claus suit is fired upon by other driver, police say

(Thanks to pharmaross)

12-foot inflatable snowman smashed by mystery driver

(Thanks to Steve K)

Santa rips off beard, screams and swears at children in bizarre outburst

(Thanks to Fabian Marson)

December 12, 2018

BOLO

Polk County deputies are looking for a thief who stuffed a foot-long sandwich down his pants and walked out of a convenience store last month.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WHOA

Famed free climber Alex Honnold, 33, is the only person to ascend California's El Capitan alone without ropes

Fascinating:

The movie's production team spent much of the time holding their breath against the nightmarish prospect of a fall. But Honnold himself seemed so calm that researchers wondered if there was something different about his brain. With this in mind, Honnold underwent an MRI in 2016 as he got ready for the ascent. That test, which is documented in the movie, shows that a part of the brain that was once usually associated with fear - the amygdala - did not activate when he was shown violent or frightening images.

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston, who says "This helps put the daily commute in a bit of perspective.")

ENTICING!

World's first laboratory-grown STEAK tastes 70% like real meat'

(Thanks to Roberto)

THIS IS WHY WHEN YOU ORDER UBER EATS YOU SHOULD ALWAYS SPECIFY CLEAN UNDERWEAR

Florida Uber Eats customer finds soiled underpants in food order

(Thanks to Mac Turl and pharmaross, who says "Uber ew!")

WE DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT THEIR TREE IS MADE OF

Couple to serve Christmas dinner made entirely from roadkill

(Thanks to Ralph)

 
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