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December 04, 2018

ROMANCE IN THE CONNECTICUT LANDSCAPING SCENE

When she went back into the home this time, she found Somley naked and dribbling maple syrup on his body, police said.
Police said the woman confessed that this sight was a “turn on” for her and she demanded to be allowed to participate.
In addition to the syrup, police said the couple engaged in foreplay with blueberry jelly.

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

MEANWHILE IN FLATHEAD COUNTY

A Kalispell man said his wife got drunk and “exploded.”

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)

SO HOW WAS *YOUR* DAY?

Petaluma man stabbed in eye with drumstick released from hospital, struck by car

(Thanks to Jay Brandeis)

TOTALLY PROPORTIONATE

FAU student threatens to kill professor for scheduling 7 a.m. final exam, police say

(Thanks to Ralph)

WELL IN *THAT* CASE...

Cardi B’s Lawyer Says She’s Too Busy To Appear In Court: ‘She Is A Fairly Notable Hip-Hop Artist’

(Thanks to The Perts)

 

GUYS IN ACTION

Man trying to drive ‘like Ace Ventura’ with head out window slams car into tree

(Thanks to The Perts)

 
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