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November 26, 2018


How high-tech toilets could soon be tracking your every movement

(Thanks to Michael Parry)


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"...the toilet is listening every time we use it."

I don't like the sound of that.

In the great tradition of hoaxes like microwaving your phone to charge the battery or that the iOS 7 upgrade made your phone waterproof, someone will advertise an app that analyzes your toilet "deposits" by having you smear them on the phone. And many people will do it.

I bet they're low flow toilets too. I'm not sure my doctor wants to know that much about me.

I go to stores that don't require the use of "loyalty cards" because I don't want them tracking what toilet paper I use, much less anything more detailed. No sh*t.

I understand they have a family plan for 4 people, $100 a month.

Imagine if they combine this with an imperfect version of alexa, and she gossiped about your sh**.

Sort of reminds me of the original Star Trek. As a kid I wondered if Spock had an additional job as Dr. McCoy’s assistant. It would explain why Capt. Kirk kept saying, “Uranalysis Mr. Spock.” Looking back, maybe Kirk suspected Spock of illegal substance abuse. Spock was being told to participate in Operation Golden Flow.

I agree with Jeff about the All Hearing Toilet.

"I'm sorry, Dave, but due to some of your prior comments you are no longer allowed to use the premium loyalty toilet. May I suggest the closest one, near the air-lock?"

It hears all the scuttlebutt.

DO NOT BUY ONE! I did, and on Taco Tuesday it called S.W.A.T. to my house!

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