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November 09, 2018


A Kalispell woman called 911 because a man was messing all her stuff up. The dispatcher reported hearing back and forth screaming and then the man grabbed the phone and said, “I’m not here.” The woman than grabbed the phone and said, “We don’t need the authorities.”

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)


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Just to be safe, guy, throw a blanket over your head. If you can't see the cops, they can't see you.

I'm going out on a limb here to connect the dots on the table saw incidents.

Also, the 8:01 AM phone call sounds like a Jedi mind trick. Or possibly Uri Geller.5

9:56 a.m. A Kalispell resident called to report that they had photos of a local log jam that they wanted to share.

"The Logjams of Flathead County" was the sequel to
"The Bridges of Madison County".

10:46 a.m. A Kalispell man was smoking meth on the job.

11:58 a.m. A Kalispell man called 911 from his iWatch.

Same guy...

1:33 p.m. A Kalispell resident called 911 because someone stole their Elvis Presley blanket worth an estimated $200. They were very upset.

Same guy, only now he thinks there are more than one of him.

Reminds me of Cheech & Chong's classic routine:

"Open the door, man. It's me, Dave."
"Dave's not here."

Somewhere, someone's press credentials need revoking.

Amazingly, the found table saw was not the lost table saw.

11:10 p.m. Some “tweakers” were reported at a Kalispell casino.

I'm really wondering about this. Is this a gambling cabal or some Harvey Weinstein followers ?

I'm not here either. Never been here.

Also in Flathead County, a canine apocalypse:

3:01 p.m. A Bigfork dog bit someone.

3:02 p.m. A Columbia Falls dog bit someone.

3:04 p.m. A Kalispell dog bit someone.

It's a magic place.

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