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October 18, 2018
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Contributing to this blog:
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- "Dave" is Dave Barry, who is a humor columnist and presidential contender.
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Why doesn't this ever happen to me?!!!
Posted by: Suzie Q Wacvet | October 18, 2018 at 05:56 PM
I always have to make excuses for the people who mess up my house when I'm not here. Never figured out how the got through the locked door.
Posted by: Loudmouth | October 18, 2018 at 06:01 PM
I'd leave my house unlocked every day if some strangers would come by and clean it!
Posted by: Sharon | October 18, 2018 at 06:21 PM
The way my luck runs I think if I ever came home and found the door unlocked and the house immaculately cleaned, the person who cleaned it would be in the closet, wearing a clown suit and holding a hatchet.
Posted by: Le Petomane | October 18, 2018 at 07:01 PM
My Mom went ballistic at us when we came home to find the crusts of a PBJ left on the kitchen counter. All of us denied culpability
“So someone broke into the house, made a sandwich, and left the crust,” she said.
“Must be what happened, because it wasn’t one of us,” my brother yelled back.
Both sides simmered for a couple of days. One of my brother’s other friends asked “Why was Scott at your house?”
Mom locked the doors after that.
When I left for college, I really wanted to leave a sandwich crust on the counter. I decided against it.
Posted by: Not My Usual Alias | October 18, 2018 at 08:18 PM
The way MY luck runs, I'd come home and there'd be a Canadian pro hockey game going on in the living room.
Posted by: Clankie | October 18, 2018 at 11:21 PM
"ALRIGHT, YOU ARE SURROUNDED. WE KNOW YOU ARE IN THERE. PUT DOWN THE MOP AND VACUUM AND COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP."
"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE US ALIVE,COPPERS.!
I picture James Cagney and Edward G. Robinson in drag.
Posted by: Rintinglen | October 19, 2018 at 01:11 AM
Of course I can't find an image online, but it reminds me of the Far Side cartoon where a bunch of trenchcoated mobsters are moving around pieces of furniture in a room while one of them says to the homeowner: "The boss wants his money, see? Or next time it won't just be your living room we'll rearrange."
Posted by: wanderer2575 | October 19, 2018 at 09:08 AM
Maybe it was the scorch marks from the flame thrower that made it conspicuously clean.
Posted by: padraig | October 19, 2018 at 10:41 AM
Snork @ wanderer2575!
It is rare that criminals actually "clean up", IYKWIM!
Posted by: funny man | October 19, 2018 at 11:03 AM