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October 23, 2018

NEWS YOU CAN'T USE

Your poop is probably full of plastic

(Thanks to Le Petomane and Craig Roberts)

Comments

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It's sort of like eating fish and having an adverse drug reaction from what has made its way into the water system, but harder.

" the researchers turned up 20 particles of microplastic per quarter pound of poop."

You won't see Count Count tackling that one on Sesame Street.

Better out than in, I always sez.

Not even close to "full of". 20 microparticles? Being micro means you have to use a microscope to see them. Crapping Legos would be "full of".

And yet, even he did not expect that every poo would test positive.

Truer words were never spoken.

Bloggits, does anyone feel up to tag-writing a suspense story after that?

He picked up his phone and paused .. should he put this news on Twitter? Facebook? No, this news was too big for a tweet. Nobody would give two sh!ts about plastic poo being heralded in a tweet.
'Myra!' he muttered to himself. 'She'll know what to do.'

....Myra put on her bling-bra. It too was weighted down with plastic....

"Some people have a thinking cap, I have a bling-bra. .. What?"

In the words of the great George Carlin:

"Could be the answer to our age-old egocentric philosophical question, “Why are we here?”

Plastic… asshole.”

So that's why it hurts coming out! I was worried I might have a condition.

This was predicted decades ago.

Guess what! There are a lot of "plastic" people in the world, so it (sort of) makes sense.

And then, then are celebrities who have "plastic" surgery.

None of it gets recycled, does it?

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