NEWS YOU CAN'T USE

Your poop is probably full of plastic

(Thanks to Le Petomane and Craig Roberts)

Comments

[Not My Usual Alias]

It's sort of like eating fish and having an adverse drug reaction from what has made its way into the water system, but harder.

[Clankie]

" the researchers turned up 20 particles of microplastic per quarter pound of poop."

You won't see Count Count tackling that one on Sesame Street.

[padraig]

Better out than in, I always sez.

[Loudmouth]

Not even close to "full of". 20 microparticles? Being micro means you have to use a microscope to see them. Crapping Legos would be "full of".

[MOTW]

And yet, even he did not expect that every poo would test positive.

Truer words were never spoken.

Bloggits, does anyone feel up to tag-writing a suspense story after that?

He picked up his phone and paused .. should he put this news on Twitter? Facebook? No, this news was too big for a tweet. Nobody would give two sh!ts about plastic poo being heralded in a tweet.
'Myra!' he muttered to himself. 'She'll know what to do.'

[LeDud]

....Myra put on her bling-bra. It too was weighted down with plastic....

[Myra]

"Some people have a thinking cap, I have a bling-bra. .. What?"

[Doug]

In the words of the great George Carlin:

"Could be the answer to our age-old egocentric philosophical question, “Why are we here?”

Plastic… asshole.”

[Bilwick]

So that's why it hurts coming out! I was worried I might have a condition.

[Ralph]

This was predicted decades ago.

[funny man]

Guess what! There are a lot of "plastic" people in the world, so it (sort of) makes sense.

And then, then are celebrities who have "plastic" surgery.

None of it gets recycled, does it?