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September 20, 2018

WHALE DISPOSAL BLUES

Failed Attempt to Put Dead Whale in Dumpster 'Was a Mistake' 

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

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"Next time, we'll just call the Oregon Highway Department."

Flopper, premiering this fall on NBC

There is no problem that cannot be solved by the proper application of explosives.

Is that your minke?

Didn't catch her in Rye.

New Hampshire has the dead whale blues
stinkin' up the beach
decomposing much too slow
for the law to allow

It was only a two case job
for the Oregon Highway department
to blast that dead whale back to sea
with a booming, thrilling lob

But New Hampshire's dead whale laws
caused them a dumpster for to send
much too small to haul away a whale
so there decomposing lies a dead stinkin' whale

It was Only a two case job
for the Oregon Highway Department
and everyone on that beach agrees
the next dead whale, they'll have them lob

Wasn’t there a Duck Dynasty episode like this?

At least they were more successful

Bravo Le Petomane!

Our 40 yard dumpster comes with a 21 gun salute and bag pipe player.

Dead whale Management

Snork @ Clankie!

♫ "16 feet and what'd you get
a baby whale that's slowly going stale,
too big for the average dumpster
and hey St. Peter the smell won't go...
can we legally sell it to the gas company? ♫

"Crossin' the highway late last night
He shoulda looked left and he shoulda looked right
He didn't see the station wagon car
The whale got squashed, and there you are...

You got your
Dead whale in the middle of the road
Dead whale in the middle of the road
Dead whale in the middle of the road
Stinkin' to high heaven..."

This is why we have thermonuclear weapons.

♫ They call him Flopper, Flopper, whale struck by lightning,
No one you see, is deader than he,
And we know Flopper, dead in a world people wonder,
Lying there-parking, right by the sea! ♬

Didn't anyone check for a Titleist obstructing the blowhole?!
Oh, if only there had been a marine biologist available!

Better call Ishmael

Now let me get this straight;
You put the whale in the dumpster
You stank them both up
You put the whale in the dumpster
You stank them both up
You put the whale in the dumpster
You stank them both up,
called your doctor, woke him up, and said,
"Doctor, ain't there nothing I can take"
I said, Doctor, to relieve this awful stank?"
called your doctor, woke him up, and said,
"Doctor, ain't there nothing I can take"
I said, Doctor, to relieve this awful stank?"
You put the lime in the coconut,
you drink them both together,
put the lime in the cocount, then you'll feel better.
Put the lime in the coconut, and drink them both up,
Put the lime in the coconut, and call me in the morning."

There's enough talent in this blog to make a musical. A musical about dead whales and dumpsters.

LeDud, you've inspired me to write the musical's theme song:

"Dead whale in the dumpster, its stench worse than pee,

Oh, carry its carcass home safely to me;

He rots in the sunshine, officials rebuked,

Dead whale in the dumpster, I long to be puked."


WAY too much time on my hands, these days, you betcha!

LeDud---Dead Whale: A Dynamite Dumpster Musical, might make it on Broadway.

Who thought Nunsense would be a success?

They never heard of dynamite?

I sent this to Judi yesterday (Friday) but I think they forgot to recharge her, or they aren't paying her enough.

The solution to whale disposal?

Couldn't have a proper send off for Flopper without this gem. (Yes, 70s music could be this bad. That second verse just says all that needs to be said.)

To the Last Whale - Crosby & Nash

Over the years you have been hunted
By the men who throw harpoons
And in the long run he will kill you
Just to feed the pets we raise
Put the flowers in your vase
And make the lipstick for your face

Over the years you swam the ocean
Following feelings of your own
Now you are washed up on the shoreline
I can see your body lie
It's a shame you have to die
To put the shadow on our eye

Maybe we'll go
Maybe we'll disappear
It's not that we don't know
It's just that we don't want to care
Under the bridge
Over the foam
Wind on the water
Carry me home

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