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September 19, 2018

UPDATE (SHHH!) FROM FLATHEAD COUNTY

7:40 a.m. A Kalispell resident called 911 and asked to remain anonymous before reporting what he had just seen. When he was assured that his identity would remain confidential he told the dispatcher that he had just seen a small red dog run through the neighborhood and that it was causing all the other dogs in the area to bark.

(Thanks to Roberto)

Comments

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"4:51 p.m. A hungry horse was spotted in Kalispell."

Doesn't it belong in Hungry Horse?

Omerta? Maybe he's confusing the Godfather with the Dogfather.

7:47 p.m. A Kalispell man faxed the police department to report that he discovered a pair of bolt cutters and a bag of men’s clothing.

Let's see what James Patterson or Dean Koontz can do with this opening.

I saw Hungry Horse in Kalispell opening for Willie at a campaign rally in Austin.

Drug activity at Burger King?
Damn straight... Those Hershey's pies are downright ADDICTIVE!!

Considering all the problems they have with dogs in Flathead County, they should look into getting The Dog Whisperer to come there and straighten them all out.


Red Dog Alert - This is NOT a drill!

12:40 p.m. Some “drug activity” was going down at Burger King.

In California they'd be tradin' plastic straws...

4:51 P.M. A hungry horse was spotted in Kalispell.

If the hungry horse had stayed in Hungry Horse and not wondered into Kalispell it wouldn't have had spots painted on it.

Clifford!

@Wanderer2575--If we added a shaving kit along with the bolt cutters and bag of clothes then placed them in the seat of a Tesla, I have a fairly good idea what Carl Hiaasen could do with that opening.

11:16 p.m. A Kalispell resident was doing some late night donuts in an area parking lot, much to the dismay of some local residents.

Yeah, people don't like to share their donuts. Get your own!

(I've never been asked to share a donut at my favorite Lamar's Donuts.)

On Sept. 13
3:51 a.m. A Kalispell man called 911 and declared “I don’t know where I am and I just want to get home!”

I can undestand his situation. This happened to me too during my drinking days.

3:20 p.m. A boater on Flathead Lake called 911 because his motor died and he wanted some advice on what to do next.

"How long can you tread water?"

(Bill Cosby's "Noah and the Ark" routine)

12:15 p.m. Some Flathead County landfill employees captured a domesticated goose.... the bird has been a welcomed addition to the dump the last few months but it recently decided to call the parking lot home....

I'm not sure, but isn't that called "Homesteading"? And doesn't the ACLU file lawsuits for protecting homesteaders?

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