Dave Barry's Blog

PEOPLE ARE INSANE

Especially "insect enthusiasts."

(Thanks to DaninDallas, L. Raymond, Jon Harris, and Le Petomane)

FINALLY SOME GOOD NEWS

Yes, Virginia, it IS a squirrel apocalypse.

(Thanks to dave e.)

"STAY OFFA MY LAWN"

Zap!

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, Glen Page, and Jane Linderman)

MEN: DO NOT READ THIS

It involves a stingray.

(Thanks to John Lobert and Le Petomane)

WHERE ELSE COULD THIS TECHNIQUE BE USED?

Dead ducks = slow down.

(Thanks to Ralph K.)

IT WAS

...a dark and stormy night: the wind whistled like an old man with drugstore teeth trying to teach his grandkids to say, "She sells sea shells by the sea shore," causing the little shavers to wonder why Peepaw was suddenly talking like Daffy Duck, whether he'd just had a stroke, and if any of them was in the will. -- Mark Schweizer, Tryon NC

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

WRONG

'They’ve shown some creativity, but it’ll be the bike that’s remembered.' 

(Thanks to John Lobert)

NOW THAT'S EFFICIENT

Bathroom kitchen? Or kitchen bathroom?

(Thanks to Jeff Kleinman and Le Petomane)

MORE BACK-TO-SCHOOL FUN

Alligator visiting.

(Thanks to elseabs)

SCHOOL DAZE

Toddlers welcomed back to school with "scantily-clad" pole dancer.

(Thanks to Jon Harris, Ranald Adams, and Commander McBragg) 

PIGS IN THE NEWS

"No charges were filed against Willie."

(Thanks to Jon Harris, Ron T., and Le Petomane)

COW CHAOS AT THE MCDONALD'S IN MOLD

We have nothing further.

(Thanks to Ralph K.)

"...UNLESS IT WAS SOME KIND OF MISTAKE"

Gee, ya think?

(Thanks to nursecindy)

BUTTONS YOU DON'T NEED TO PUSH

Happy Labor Day.

(Thanks to Fred Preller)

FISHY

Kuwait’s Ministry of Commerce has closed a fishmongers that was sticking googly eyes on fish to make them appear fresher than they were.

(Thanks to Janice Gelb)

FLORIDA IS NOT MESSING AROUND

Authorities say a Florida man has been arrested for being belligerent and giving his girlfriend a wet willy.

(Thanks to Jon Harris, Commander McBragg, Marcopohlo, and Ronald Adams)

Caifornia, on the other hand...

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

JAPAN

Resistance is futile?

(Thanks to Mark Schlesinger and Michael Kelly)

FLORIDA

 

We have Klingon (or Ferengi?) ducks.

WELL, IT WAS HER *FAVORITE* COW

A moo-ving proposal.

(Sorry.)

(Thanks to Ralph K. and funny man)

MISNOMER ALERT?

Check out this from Easyjet.

(Thanks to funny man and Mark Schlesinger)