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September 02, 2018

FLORIDA IS NOT MESSING AROUND

Authorities say a Florida man has been arrested for being belligerent and giving his girlfriend a wet willy.

(Thanks to Jon Harris, Commander McBragg, Marcopohlo, and Ronald Adams)

Caifornia, on the other hand...

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

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So, let me see if I have this right. He got arrested for sticking his wet finger in her ear. Had she pulled a gun and shot him, she would have walked thanks to the Stand You Ground law.

I don't think anyone would have a problem on Guess the State.

So Florida has a No Wet Willies statute. Interesting.

Giving a non-consenting lady the wet willy is a hanging offense in Texas.

According to Wikipedia a "wet willy" is Bill Clinton in a bathtub.

Surprisingly, in Teas giving someone a noogie is not a hanging offense. Just the opposite, it is considered just being friendly. The statute also says if any person objects to a noogie they need to lighten up or move to another state.

When noogies are outlawed only outlaws will . . .
well, you know the rest.

There are also blue laws on the books in several states outlawing the giving of wedgies (both Melvins and Marvins) and administering the two-fingered eye poke, known as the Howard-Fine-Howard Ordinance.

Ask a second grade school teacher how to handle this kind of thing. They know best.

A "Wet Willy" is not as offensive as a "Moist Marvin". Just sayin.

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