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August 08, 2018

FLORIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Florida woman high on meth ran around naked in park because she believed giant spider was on her

She was released after both she and the imaginary spider produced valid Florida drivers' licenses.

(Thanks to DaninDallas)

Comments

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"Miss, your Muffet is showing."

Breaking News Alert: Teeples exposed. Confusion regarding a giant spider distinguished as over-and-above uncovered genitalia.

Are we sure it wasn't?

This is what happens when you abandon your real super-killing boyfriend for a realistic sex doll. Not saying we told you so, but...

...*SPIDER-killing..." (Thanks, auto-correct, for making me look like I support serial killers)

Jeff, that was my first thought too.


🎶 I don't like spiders and meth
and that ain't what it takes to love me
like I want to be loved by you.🎶

Did this happen in Flathead...or Florida?

Inquiring geezers want to know!

I love it! This news item has all of the essential parts of a good story: Florida, a naked man or woman, running away from real or imaginary beasts. They should really offer an in depth course on Florida in journalism school.

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