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July 26, 2018

THESE ARE CONSENTING TOADS, DUDE

Wildlife officials in Arizona said toads are being stolen from a conservation area and the thieves are believed to be planning to lick them.

(Thanks to Ralph)

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Toad thieves suck!

Kinda like S&H Green Stamps?

What do you get when you have a full book of toads?

(Arrested?)

Maybe just a girl looking for her prince?

FAMILY GUY warned us of the danger over a decade ago:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQEhBai711o

I saw The Toad-Licking Thieves open for Metallica.

I saw what you did there, Jeff. (Metal-lick-a)

Them Toad Suckers

How about Them Toad Suckers,
Ain't they clods?
Sittin' there suckin'
Them green toady-frogs.
Suckin' them hop-toads,
Suckin' them chunkers,
Suckin' them leapy-types,
Suckin' them plunkers.
Look at Them Toad Suckers,
Ain't they snappy?
Suckin' them bog-frogs,
Sure makes 'em happy.
Them huggermugger Toad Suckers,
Way down south
Stickin' them sucky toads,
In they mouth.
How to be a Toad Sucker?
No way to duck it.
Gittchyseff a toad,
Rare back and suck it!

- Mason Williams, about 1968(?)

Are the thieves hauling them away with a toad truck?

‘Lick the toad! Lick the toad! Lick the toad!” I remember this from one of the Joe Cartoon videos from the early days of the internet.

In my day telling someone to "lick a toad" was fightin' words.

Dave---I had a counseling program for ten years in four central Texas counties, for misdemeanor offenders. One guy sheepishly told us that he was there because he and a friend (both already drunk) were arrested around 2:00 A.M. by an older police officer in downtown Bastrop, TX licking toads they had caught, believing they could get higher by licking the toads ( they couldn't, as the toads that produce such effects are from South America---but---they were drunk.) When caught, the officer bewilderingly asked them, "Boys---what the hell are you doing?" Toad licking does happen...

They were just looking to get hopped up.

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