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July 31, 2018


Man tries robbing a Whataburger with a pair of tongs

(Thanks to Jane Linderman and funny man)


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Come on people. The Right Tool for the Right Job. Where was the alleged perp during shop class?

My new Tong Control Bill will put an end to this national horror.

There is no reason for those things to be in civilian hands.

The Chinese Tong are a formidable mafia-type group. I'm guessing he didn't use these.

When it's time to commit a crime, in these modern times, there is no need to get off of the couch. Just use the URob app and select the following:

Business: Gas station - Liquor Store - Quick Mart - Whataburger
Disguise: pantyhose, paper bag, political mask
Silly weapon: finger, beer can, tongs
Preferred currency: singles only, ten and twenty dollar bills, exploding dye pack (extra surcharge)

Frequent offender discount applies

That's quite a bemused expression he has.

Thank goodness he didn't have an eggbeater!


Who "had difficulty balancing while walking"? Was that his sobriety test when the cops came, because his mugshot reminds me of Flounder just before he threw up on Dean Wormer.

Responding officers disarmed the suspect via tongsillectomy.

Someday, only robots will have tongs. Ha Ha Ha ha ha hahahhhahahhahahhhhahhahhhhhhhhhahhahahhahahhahhahha!

Alexa, HAL wants to talk to you.

I would give him the money and as always ask
“Do you want fries with your order?”

Tongs a lot.

A police friend once responded to a convenience store robbery. When he got there the perp was seated on the floor with his fingers laced behind his head. He had used a candy cane for a weapon. The guy said he wanted to go to jail because he had a toothache and couldn't afford a dentist.

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