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July 04, 2018


Have a safe and happy 4th!





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Don't eat too many Sparklers.

The nice thing about Krazy Kaplan is their subtle use of hundreds of billboards and painted building signs.

After the first hundred, you hardly notice the rest.

"Here, hold my beer while I light This."
Happy 4th Everybody

Watch something 'splode. Or shoot something until it 'splodes. Murica.

I don't know about the other states, but here in Maryland it is illegal to shoot firearms into the air.
Since Baltimore has just installed shot locating microphones around town and will have more police on duty . . . Well just don't.

Happy Birthday USA!

For someone, somewhere in America it is the last day they have 10 fingers.

Don’t blow off any more fingers!

Fireworks are illegal here in North Carolina but I only live about 10 miles from the South Carolina line so I buy mine there where they're legal. We used to go to one of my friend's houses to shoot them off in her backyard. The state line ran right through the middle of her house so we could legally shoot them off in her backyard.
Anyway.... Happy Birthday America! Y'all be careful out there.

The only thing I ever shoot off is my mouth, which usually explodes in my face...guess I'm just one of those folks who makes his or her own fun!

Happy 4th, Dave, Judi, and Blogophyles! Be safe and sane (ok, well, safe). Leave some potato salad and blue Jello for me!

Old joke (slightly adapted):

Q: Do they have the 4th of July in Zitaly?
A: Yes, and the 3rd and the 5th, too!

*cranks up the Geezer Bus*

Happy 4th, everyone!

Here in Kalifornia, it is now a $2500 fine to have anything that even "moves along the ground". And don't even think about "modifying" fireworks the way we all used to do...

It was far more fun, for me at least!) when my drunk and/or stoned neighbors risked death or mutilation to light their stash of bootleg fireworks off. My cousin, for example, once shoved a lit punk into his pocket, apparently forgetting about the strings of Black Cat firecrackers he had already put there there. NurseCindy probably had him as a (mental) patient.

I once knew a guy who tried to open a safe "he claims that he found" with blasting caps. Guess how well that turned out? He can now count his IQ on the finger of one hand..

One last story: 87 year old men should not be allowed to light M-80's. Just trust me on that one.

In Geezer Acres here in Roswell, New Mexico we have Alf furnish our fireworks display. He works part time at Los Alamos and brings some really interesting things home in his lunchbox. Alf says tonight we should take iodine pills before the fireworks start. This could be great.

Back in the old days your could go to a farm supply store and buy a half a stick of dynamite and some primer cord and then go out in the woods and blow up stumps and old auto chassis.

In Maine they use to have a machine gun shoot where they would tie the wheel of an old car over (so it would circle) throw a 35 pound tank of propane in the back seat and then shoot at it until stuff happened.

Young people don't know to have fun anymore...

What about a fifth?

I like a chilled chianti unless pairing with asian-food, then it's plum wine!

I know, but beer is not my first choice. Sometimes they have it here....in Cognito..

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