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June 27, 2018

TENSION BUILDS IN FLATHEAD COUNTY

8:36 a.m. A turtle was trying to cross the road.

(Thanks to Stan Ruth and Roberto)

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11:32 a.m. A Kalispell man complained about a dog belonging to two guys setting up a fireworks stand.
Exactly how does a dog set up a fireworks stand?

3:53 P.M. To add to nursecindy's thread; how did the FedEx truck driver run into another vehicle without using his truck?

To .. get .. to .. the .. other .. side.

nursecindy: it's not easy because the dog sets up the woof before the walls.

Le Pet: with his feet, going up the ramp (duh)

8:39 p.m. A phone book was stolen in Kalispell.

They still have phone books? (No, the last one was just stolen.) >rimshot<

In Flathead, no dog or horse or turtle is above suspicion.

Just ask the FedEx driver. Or the "this is my valley" screamer.

I think Rod Serling must have been stranded in Flathead at least once. Would explain perhaps his inspirations.

I'm sure it was trying to get to the Shell station.

1:59 p.m. A Columbia Falls man called 911 because there was an old purple Escort driving around his neighborhood that “doesn’t belong here.”

I'm with the caller. A "purple Escort" ? Jeeeesh...

8:04 a.m. Two men were standing by a soda machine and “doing drugs.” Turns out they were just smoking some tobacco out of an old fashioned pipe.

Party like it's 1899...

How did they even notice that the phone book was stolen. I don't even know if I have one anymore.

There is some important uses for phone books now that they ain't printing Sears an' Roebuck catalogues.

What do you call a turtle trying to cross the road that doesn't make it?

A) dead
B) soup
C) you can save 15% on your car insurance with (mumble)

The correct answers are A and/or B.


"A turtle was trying to cross the road."

This sentence would be the opening line of literary work by:

A. Ridley Pearson
B. Stephen King
C. Dave Barry
D. Judi Smith
E. Carl Hiaasen

@Slim Chance--Any or all of the above.

Good thing they called the authorities about the turtle in the road. Ordinary citizens should not attempt turtle relocation without proper State or Federal reptile training.

My telephone book is also missing, coincidence? I don't think so!

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