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June 18, 2018


A Kentucky man found driving through the Sunshine State with a hatchet hidden in his car told police that he needed the weapon “for protection” from “scum bags in Florida,” according to a court filing.

(Thanks to Jerry Atrick)


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They can have my hatchet when they pry it from my cold dead hands. Seriously, I have a hatchet in my car. Also a tape measure, and a hammer. which is approximately as deadly as a hatchet. Don't tell them about my screwdrivers, though.

In that case, sir, you are free to go. But next time, pick up a machete, the Florida self defense weapon of choice.

Somebody's been reading too many Carl Hiaasen books.

Why would you hide a hatchet in your car ? I guess I should consult Carl Hiaasen....

I had better stay out of Kentucky. I have a chainsaw concealed in my toolbox and I know how to use it.

One of my favorite Carl Hiaasen characters is the idiot who tried to hijack electricity from a welder to charge his stolen Tesla and turned himself into a french fry.

Send Kentucky Man to Washington!

Does Kentucky Man actually believe that a hatchet will be able to protect him from Florida Man?

It's that whole Kentucky, "Dan'l Boone was a man, was a big man" thing. Thwack, tomahawk splits the tree in half, top to root. Except in FL the trees shoot back.

We can't sell hatchets or tomahawks short in the weapons department. I once saw Ed Ames on the Johnny Carson show demonstrate just how dangerous a tomahawk can be. I would send that clip if I knew how.

Here you go Le Petomane.
Ed Ames. Now, would you like to join me on the geezer bus?

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