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June 27, 2018


"What would you do if people kept having sex in your hedge?"

(Thanks to John Lobert)


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I'd throw them my hedge clippers and ask them if they'd mind trimming things up a bit while they're in there. Then I'd mention Fred. He's a black snake that likes to hang around my hedges.

She needs a hedge fun manager.

One in the bush is worth two in the hedge.

Why don't they do it in the road?

1. I second the "use a garden hose" answer

But if that doesn't stop them:

2. Boiling water

Pity she’s not in the US. Because then the question would be:

“What would you do if people kept on having sex in your bush?”

Flamethrower drone.

Which is going to be my answer to a LOT of things from now on...

"Get outta 'ere and I'll keep mum about this."

I'd be OK with it once or twice, but if it became too regular, I'd ask my wife if we could move back to the bedroom.

Film them. Those new-gossip shows like Inside Edition and TMZ will pay big money for non-copyright video!

A definite case of hedge hogs.

Video > Pornhub.

Heckle them.

Get a new gardener - Lorena Bobbitt

Put up a toll gate and charge them to use the hedge. It worked in Blazing Saddles.

~If there's a hustle in your hedgerow, go be alarmed now...~

Snorks to everyone!

Plant somw poison ivy

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