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May 23, 2018


Feds plan to wipe Gorilla Snot on Giant Mine

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)


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Whew... I'd misread that at first.

We're gonna need a bigger box of tissue.

Wouldn't poutine work just as well?

Abby: It's snot.
McGee: Not what?
Abby: Not not, it's Snot.
McGee:OK Abby, don't get upset just tell me what it is.
Abby: I TOLD you, IT'S SNOT! SNOT! snot, snot, snot!
McGee: Oh, why didn't you say that the first time?
(Abby Sciuto, we miss you)

Ah. At first I read "Giant MIME," and thought, "Good."

It's all for naught, I cannot knot.

Beware the cheap, imitation competing brand, Ape Sh!t.

Gorilla Snot is brought to you by Red-Shirt Harvesters™ LLC.

This is, of course, just one more reason to avoid CANADA, a nation descending into environmental chaos, since Yellowknife is firmly located north of the border. So, this isn't our feds- it's theirs. Explains a lot.

Gorilla Snot’s manufacturer says its product’s “unique surface crust remains light and flexible yet strong and durable resulting in long-term performance capable of withstanding intense environmental conditions,” claiming it will not wash off with rain.

The ladies melt when you booger talk them.

The owners of Gorilla Snot, Inc. are pleased to announce
that over 200 currently out of work gorillas with allergies will be employed for the several years to produce the required amount of snot. Trickle down economics will also benefit banana producers.
Visitors, however, are advised to stay a minimum of three miles from the mine site for reasons of health.

I went to Yellowknife a few times. It is way north, but not quite in the Arctic yet. Besides the gold mines, there are also diamond mines - giant holes digged in the permafrost. Only a few years ago they made a paved road to Yellowknife, before that a lot of supplies was getting there during winter, on ice roads across the frozen lake.

Gorilla Snot flows freely if the gorillas have been huffing Gorilla Glue.

For maximum production, the gorillas maintain a regular cycle of one month of snot harvesting with two months of rehab.

Use a tissue, feds. It's a lot more sanitary.

Wait, so the Canadians are mining giants now?

I saw Gorilla Snot warming up for Metallica back in '98. Helluva show.

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