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May 23, 2018

SOMEBODY'S DEFINITELY GOING TO HELL

Authorities say a priest found two people having sex beneath a statue of the Virgin Mary at a Roman Catholic church in New Jersey.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

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Let us cover our eyes and pray.

Our Lady of Perpetual Readiness.

This is the shore; everything goes at the shore.

Also next to police headquarters.

Some people pray differently than others.

Hot Catholic three-way action!

On their way to Las Vegas, no doubt.

They're going to be saying Our Fathers and Hail Marys for the rest of their lives. Where's a nun with a ruler when you really need her?

Of course, the classic joke:

Tommy O’Connor went to confession and said, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.”

“What have you done, Tommy O’Connor?”

“I had sex with a girl.”

”Who was it, Tommy?”

“I cannot tell you, Father; please forgive me for my sin.”

”Was it Mary Margaret Sullivan?”

“No, Father, please forgive me for my sin, but I cannot tell you who it was.”

“Was it Catherine Mary McKenzie?”

“No, Father, please forgive me for my sin.”

“Well, then, it has to be Sarah Martha O’Keefe.”

“No, Father, please forgive me, but I cannot tell you who it was.”

”Okay, Tommy, go say five Hail Marys and four Our Fathers, and you will be abolished of your sin.”

Tommy walked out to the pews where his friend Joseph was waiting. “What did ya get?” asked Joseph.

“Well, I got five Hail Marys, four Our Fathers... and three good leads.”

Did the muffled moans of "Oh God!" give them away?

I think I saw this couple sleeping in my local Starbucks last week.

Apparently, Our Lady of Perpetual Help was a little more broadminded than the law will allow.

Wan't there a San Francisco group know as "Our Lady of Perpetual Indulgence"?

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