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May 24, 2018


This is a video demonstration of a phone cradle spotted at a restaurant in China that swings your phone and tricks it into registering those swings as steps, apparently so patrons who work for companies that offer healthy insurance discounts for walking a certain amount of steps per day (typically 10,000 -- roughly 8km/5-miles, or about an hour and forty minutes of walking) can meet their quota "while dining, drinking, and smoking."

(Thanks to John Lobert)


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Next will be an app that tricks your heart into thinking it's still beating. That'll teach 'em...

They should make some kind of cheap miniature gizmo with a mechanical swing switch that would count steps as you walk. They could call it a "pedometer."

Boss: "How many steps are we up to today, Jim?"
Jim: [Wakes up] "Huh?"
Boss: "How many steps today?"
Jim: "Oh, uh 8,356 and counting, sir."

There are already aps to hep you pretend you're working.

"Dude, your fitness profile shows you can do 1,480 backflips in a row! Awesome!!!"

"Verrrrry sneaky." Artie Johnson in a helmet fades into the bushes.

"You know, Lin, this guy's fitness record shows his heart was so healthy he must have run a marathon a week. Well, help me get him on the gurney."

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