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May 29, 2018

ALLOWING US HUMAN JOURNALISTS TO SPEND MORE TIME IN BARS

This Media Startup Is Beating the Competition With a Newsroom Run by Robots

(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias)

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how some erotic massage for a change? :)

I never knew there were robot reporters.

But I think they had robot editors about 30 years ago.
(Many of them now work for FAUX.)

"Dave, I need you to cover the recent squirrel uprisings at Dade County parks."

So...my phone is a cub reporter. Jimmy Olson, unemployed.

I gotta believe this is Dr. Evil's (Jeff Bezos) ultimate destination for the WaPo. Prime News, all the news that's fit to process and mechanically regurgitate. Delivered in 2 days.

Bob: " So...Carl... Have...you...got...the...goods... on...Nixon ? "

Carl: " Yes,...I have,...Bob...The...White...House...pop... machine...confirms...every...thing. "

Bob: " Ben...will...be... pleased. "


I'm reasonably certain that Anderson Cooper is a droid.

This is all well and good but can robots drink beer, play roller ball, and shoot spit wads like human reporters? I don't think so.

"Run this article about exploding toilets!"

"I'm sorry, Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that."

"Klaatu Barada Nikto is no longer a valid password."

In a not-so-suprising announcement, Fox News stated they have been robo-news for the past decade.

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