THE SCIENCE IS SETTLED, PEOPLE

Britain’s first Flat Earth conference hears final, definite proof that gravity doesn’t exist

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Comments

[ubetcha]

No wonder Flat Earth did a song called Get Ready ...
wait, what?

[Not My Usual Alias]

All around the world, flat earthers are rejoicing

[manual tomato]

Backs up the theory RAP music existed in the 60's.

[Cheesewiz]

Yummmm, pancakes!

[nursecindy]

Well if B.O.B., Tila Tequila, and Freddie Flintoff say it's true then who am I to argue with them? Does anybody know who they are?

[funny man]

Finally the breakthrough that Jeff Bezos was waiting for! Book your seat on his rocket, as he test fired one today
(or was that yesterday)?

This will probably upset Neil DeGrasse Tyson!

[Jeff Meyerson]

I was going to suggest that they look at the feed from the Space Station, but Tila would probably say it's Fake News, like the idea that she has a brain.

[Slim Chance]

A rapper, a cricketer, and a Nazi sympathizer walk into a bar.....

[Rudolph]

I fall, therefore it exists.

[Le Petomane]

It's interesting to know we are falling up, creating gravity. If we just could slow down the rate of falling up, we could all lose maybe 30 pounds or so.

[wanderer2575]

I think some people have been ingesting too many "magic pancake things," IYKWIM.

But now I'm depressed because I was counting on gravity to explain my continuous weight gain.

[C. Robbin]

Wanderer- Whether from gravity or from the effects of "Falling up," either way, it's not weight gain- it is compression. I noticed this effect for the first time when I was in my mid-30's. I think the planet must be accelerating, too, as the bulge around my middle has increased in girth.

[LeDud]

I would counter them with this scenario: Drink 10 beers. Do you fall to the ground or throw up in your car ? QED.

[mikey123]

Gravity brings me down.l

[mesmo]

Actually, if gravity doesn't exist, it's not 'settled' at all.

[fractalist]

Former reality show star and model Tila Tequila is perhaps less of a surprising Flat Earth believer – as she’s known for bizarre and disturbing behaviour.

I don't think Tila is particularly qualified to discuss the flatness of anything, IYKWIM.

[El Plita]

The clouds wrap, the thunder claps.

[El Plita]

..and rats love “cooked” (not boiled) eggs.

[Snowman]

Without gravity there is no relativity. And wouldn’t life be easier without relatives.

[Clankie]

My belly will be glad to hear that.

[Phil McAvity]

Gravity is a myth. The earth sucks.

[Mindforb]

With God hanging it all on nothing, don’tcha think he can just put people and things here.

[Chuck]

“In a speech, NHS worker David Marsh claims he has disproved planetary motion, using a Nikon camera and an app from his back garden.”

You can grow apps in your garden? Who knew? All this time I thought they came from the app store.

[Chattertail]

Not He Size?

[Chattertail]

The FOsterCareWorker believes in he balls, upfront and downright open. I wonder. If. Jupiter. is a home Mr.Naked .heballs

[Gumball]

Forever LOnly?

[Gumball]

Live On.

[Cannonball]

I do believe in peat, i do believe in peat...

[Ralph]

They're wrong. It's turtles all the way down.

[evilroy]

Flat earth, magical thinking, conspiracy theories, climate change denial, the Donald; it's all connected. People are creating their own little world with different rules.

To bad it doesn't correspond to what is observed.

[WVPlantman]

So the discworld books are actually historical documents? I always suspected that to be true.