NOT THE ONION

The Penn State Outing Club, originally founded in 1920, announced last week that the university will no longer allow the club to organize outdoor, student-led trips starting next semester. The hiking, camping and other outdoors-focused activities the student-led club has long engaged in are too risky, the university’s offices of Student Affairs and Risk Management determined.

(Thanks to Al Barkafski, who says “And talking is too dangerous for the Debate Club.”)

Comments

[Jim]

I still can't get my mind around the idea that there's a university office of "Student Affairs and Risk Management." I guess they do go together.

[Stixnstonz]

The Office of "Student Affairs" sounds pretty risky itself...

"Gentlemen - affairs of State must take precedent over...affairs of State..."

-the honorable William J. LePetomane, Gov.

[EveryoneWants2BeRich]

The students were outraged. The students flocked to their safe spaces where some spun their spinners, others colored furiously in their coloring books. Still others sat, some in grim silent determineation, some wept. But as one brave soul stood up to rally the snowflakes, he got a text and walked away laughing at a video of monkeys peeing on each other.

[Rudolph]

Oh, THAT kind of outing. The one I was thinking of probably could be risky.

[nursecindy]

OMG I'm starting to think like Rudolph!
They also banned the library club from the library because they could get a nasty paper cut while turning pages in a book.

[Frank Davuco]

So this means that the snowflakes at Penn State can't go out in the snow? (I don't mean the campers and hikers.)

[Le Petomane]

I venture the dean's wife got bit by a moose.

[Rudolph]

*empathizes with nursecindy*

[Slim Chance]

Stixnstonz:

I never knew Le Petomane's first name nor
the honorable position he holds.

I will be certain, in the future, as regarding him, to be a little more disrespectful.

[Steve K]

I went outside once. The graphics were not that good.

[Ralph]

Spring Break, however, is perfectly safe.

[Not My Usual Alias]

As long as the hiking, diving, and cave exploring are done indoors with full medical emergency support, the activities are fine

[coscolo]

'Risk Management' = They let lawyers get involved.

[Slim Chance]

NMUA: Indoor activity will be limited to virtual reality walks in padded rooms.

[C. Robbin]

The Age of Adventure is over. We are now officially a culture in decline. Good thing they paved over the Oregon Trail a while back. Easier to get the the west coast in the 2018 Conestoga Wagon by Mazda.

[Big Fan]

Did they also eliminate the football program?