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March 08, 2018


Drunken shopping cost the average American nearly $450 last year, study finds

(Thanks to Kevin Smith)


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"Uh dear, a couple of weeks ago when you got drunk at the club with your friends, did you order two kidney pies and a haggis from some place in Europe?"

This is why you should have to take a breathalyzer test before you can watch QVC, HSN, or JTV. Having the flu will also make you spend more on these channels. I'm getting over my second bout with the flu and am currently awaiting an order of Joy Mangano Huggable Hangers from HSN.

It's time that we recognize this important segment of consumers with free drinks and gift cards!

What? Did I say something wrong?

Well when the next recession starts, send every American a case of Kentucky bourbon.

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