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March 29, 2018


2:54 a.m. A Kalispell resident called 911 because they were convinced that someone had snuck a device into their home that makes everything shake.


4:08 p.m. A Kalispell resident reported finding a Craigslist ad “calling for all clowns to rise up” and meet at Woodland Park later that day. The “clowns” were also advised to “bring your tools.”

(Thanks to Roberto)


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It appears that Kalispell is descending into chaos.

I bet the taverns do a good business in that county.

The Clown Uprising would be a very scary event. But what "tools" are clown using?

Isn't The Clown Uprising at Coachella this year?

In other news, area department stores reported a run on seltzer bottles and twisting balloons.

Some clowns are tools, IYKWIMAITYD...

Just ask our resident expert, Stephen King....

4:44 p.m. A Kalispell resident had questions about social media.

I mean, who doesn't?

And all of Flathead County is awaiting The Silence of the Dog.

The shaking may have be from a GainsWave patient zapping his penis.

The last time they called for "clowns" to "rise up", the Pillsbury Doughboy showed up instead.

Juggalo gathering in the park. Tools = hatchet and a 40oz. And if you're sane, stay the heck away from there, cause there's bound to be mayhem!

The clown uprising will be televised live on C-Span. Check local listings.

All this because the washing machine is dancing around the laundry room...?

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