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February 08, 2018


An Alabama man allegedly beat his roommate after discovering that the victim had failed to properly seal a box of Cap’n Crunch cereal, which had gone stale, police report.

Key Excerpt: At one point, Smith demanded that his roommate remove his dentures so that he could experience how hard it was to consume the Cap'n Crunch. 

(Thanks to Steven Pudlo, Chris Elzi and Greg Snow, who says “Roll Tide.”)


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Was anything, you know, 'incredibly' involved?

Putting the CRUNCH back in Cap'n Crunch breakfast cereal.

Dominatrix won't wilt when you pour on milk.

That would be Captain Horatio Magellan Crunch to you civilians.

Sounds like we're dealing with a cereal killer, folks.

Seems like lots of bad things happen with Captain Crunch......

Because it's required...

Roll Tide back atcha! :)

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