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February 22, 2018
WHY PENMANSHIP MATTERS
Couple rescued from remote deserted island after writing massive HELP sign in the sand
(Thanks to Le Petomane)
IT WAS LABELED ‘EDIBLE’
Kale recalled in 34 states after being mislabeled
(Thanks to Bill Carver)
PLEASE CELEBRATE IMMEDIATELY
(Thanks to Jon Harris)
STIMULATING
Care home hires pole dancers to keep elderly residents entertained
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
'IT KEPT HIM AMUSED FOR AGES'
Dog finds massive dildo in owner’s bedroom and now it’s his favourite toy
(Thanks to W. von Papineau)
FASHION UPDATE
TWO WORDS YOU RARELY THINK OF TOGETHER
By the Slimmest of Margins, the U.S. Knocks Canada Off in Curling Thriller
(Thanks to Jane Linderman)
SEND THIS WOMAN TO WASHINGTON
California woman sues state for not acknowledging Bigfoot's existence
(Thanks to James Flynn)
Also send Bigfoot.
February 21, 2018
GUYS IN ACTION
Man Burns Down Home In Attempt To Remove Skunks
(Thanks to Jon Harris and Ralph)
UNDOUBTEDLY THERE'S A PERFECTLY INNOCENT EXPLANATION
Fire crews called to remove a spanner stuck on man's genitals
(Thanks to Ralph)
O CANNABIS
More Canadians overall smoking pot than in 1985
(Thanks to The Perts)
HE WAS ATTEMPTING TO DELIVER CHINESE FOOD, WHICH IS A GOOD ENOUGH REASON FOR US
Bicyclist arrested after app directs him into Lincoln Tunnel
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
THEY SAY IT’S GOOD TO STAY ACTIVE
Fortuna woman, 79, arrested for selling meth out of her senior center home
(Thanks to Matt Filar)
JUST BEER FOR US, THANKS
CANADIAN SPORTS REPORT
Could you eat this six-pound donair? Monstrous wrap eludes extreme eaters
“Weighing about the same as a Chihuahua”
(Thanks to The Perts)
UNFORTUNATELY NO ENGLISH TRANSLATION IS AVAILABLE
GUESS WHO’S NUMBER ONE
REMINDER:
FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY
TAKE MY EX-WIFE. PLEASE.
Comedian sued by ex-husband after she brings up their marriage in her routine
(Thanks to The Perts)
THIS USUALLY WORKS FOR US
Man arrested on several charges, falsely identifies himself as Matthew McConaughey
(Thanks to Al Barkafski)
CSI: VERMONT
Snow shovel fight brings police to West Lebanon parking lot
(Thanks to Glen Page, who says "I think the weather around here could be a factor.")
February 20, 2018
‘DOOBIES MKE BOOBIES’
WHICH FRANKLY MAKES THEM EVEN MORE DISGUSTING
IF THAT DOESN’T WIN HIM BACK, WE DON’T KNOW WHAT WILL
Woman Tases man who tries to leave her
(Thanks to Ralph)
THEY MAKE ‘JA-JA’ SOUNDS
Snake alert sparks great imagination among great tits
(Thanks to Another Ralph)
UPDATE
Suspected drug dealer has now gone 34 days without taking a poo
(Thanks to Le Petomane)
ANYTHING TO DECLARE?
Tourists caught smuggling gold into Japan inside their rectums
(From the Asahi Shimbun! Get it? Ha!)
(Thanks to Le Petomane)
IN OUR VIEW, IT DEPENDS ON THE DOG
Bill to prevent minors, or a dog, from becoming Kansas governor moves forward
(Thanks to Kevin Smith)
THEY BOOST ATTENDANCE
NIGHTS ARE LONG UP THERE
Saskatchewan family adorns farm fence with nearly 100 colourful bicycles
(Thanks to John Lobert)
FLORIDAAAAAAAAAA
Corndog Poke Leads to Criminal Charges
(Thanks to Brian Duval)
THE SCIENCE IS (burp) SETTLED
Drinking alcohol key to living past 90
(Thanks to Barry Nester)
AND STAY OFF THEIR LAWN
Women took axe to truck blocking their driveway
Names We Are Not Making Fun Of: Alongkorn Sirisongkhram, Rachanikorn Lertwasana, Ratanachat Saengyoktrakarn and Ranee Saengyoktrakarn.
(Thanks to Phil McAvity)
SEEMS LOGICAL
Farmer believes this massive poster of a porn star in his field has boosted his crops
(Thanks to Le Petomane and Ralph)
February 19, 2018
SHE WAS RELEASED AFTER THE PARAKEET PRODUCED A VALID FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE
CURLING UPDATE
Olympic curler’s husband double-fisting his third and fourth beers at 9 a.m. is a legend
(Thanks to Jane Linderman)
Russian curler reportedly fails doping test after winning bronze
(Thanks to Matt Filar and Al Barkafski)
This blog can totally relate.
EW
Police: Woman tries to steal camera, hurls feces in escape
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
CLASSY!
GUY HOMEOWNERS IN ACTION
Man sets San Diego house on fire trying to kill weeds with torch
(Thanks to Jane Linderman)
OOPS
Atlanta theater accidentally plays ‘Fifty Shades Freed’ at a ‘Black Panther’ screening
(Thanks to Not my Usual Alias)
RETURN OF BATMAN
Twenty years ago, my wife talked me into dressing as Batman and making a surprise appearance at the fourth birthday party of a young man named Alexander Forjan. Here's the column I wrote about that day, and here's a picture of me in costume with the birthday boy:
Fast forward to this past weekend, when my family and I attended the 80th birthday of Alexander's grandmother, Judy. Alexander, now 23, was on hand. We reminisced about his party; he told me he totally believed I was Batman. I seriously doubt that he still does.
SURELY THIS WILL NOT RESULT IN ANYTHING BAAAAAAD
Human-sheep hybrids have been created by scientists for the first time
(Thanks to Le Petomane and Ranald Adams)
THE MANNEQUIN WAS WEARING A KNIGHT'S COSTUME
Drunk Men Were ‘Hopelessly Locked Together’ With Mannequin and Remote-Controlled Car, Police Say
(Thanks to Jane Linderman, Le Petomane and Ralph)
February 17, 2018
WINTER OLYMPICS UPDATE FROM 1998
Twenty years ago in Nagano, I attempted curling. Incredibly, I did not medal.
GUYS IN ACTION
Man starts fight with kangaroo and loses
(Thanks to Le Petomane)
DO NOT MESS WITH THEM
Augusta woman arrested for trying to rip off boyfriend's genitals
(Thanks to DaninDallas)
THE BEST AND THE BRIGHTEST
Apple Employees Keep Smacking Into Their New Headquarters' Glass Walls
(Thanks to Michael Parry)
February 16, 2018
WE HAVE SAT NEXT TO THIS INDIVIDUAL
Pilot forced to make emergency landing after fight breaks out when passenger refuses to stop FARTING
(Thanks to Jim Kenaston and Rod Nunley)