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January 08, 2018


Turkish academic claims Prophet Noah used cell phone to call his son before flood

(Thanks to Ralph)


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“I am a scientist, I speak for science” Örnek added.

Admittedly, I am no scientist. The Book of Genesis says Noah's sons Shem, Ham, and Japheth and their wives were on the ark with Noah and his wife. They were on the same boat.

But the son had left his phone in the car.

AT&T? Verizon? Sprint? Old Testament Bell?
iPhone? Galaxy? Android? Virgin? Flip phone? Rotary dial cell phone?

Enquiring minds, you know...

He dated Pamela Anderson at one time. Maybe that was Borat.

Hi, I'm Yavuz Örnek and I belonged to Hair Club For men and I'm here to tell you I had better luck reaching Noah by cellphone than getting anything resembling a hair capable of growth on my head at this far-fetched claim of an establishment.

I caught the typo right away. This "scientist" lectures at the Istanbull University, not Istanbul.

That is total bull. Now if he said they texted, maybe.

Due to the excessive number of text messages to "The Big Guy", Noah exceeded his monthly data cap, and his carrier cut off his access. "Can you hear me now?" he was heard to shout, as his ship slowly sunk into the mountainside.

No, he had messenger pigeons. In the Bible ist says:
"First he released a chicken to see if the land is near.
Chicken did not return.
So he released a cat.
The cat did not return.
Then he released the pigeon. Pigeon returned carrying a taco. Noah then knew - we are close to Mexico"

Cellphones were very important later in Noah's life.

Like your kid answers their cell phone when you call

NMUA, that was my first thought too. If cellphones were around when G-d gave Moses the 10 Commandments there would have been an 11th one saying, "Thou shalt answer thy phone when thy mother calleth thee".

I called my son when we ran out of pizza rolls. Samey same.

Noah: You want me to build an arm?
God: No, listen. I'm sending you 40 days of flooring.
Noah: 40 cubit feet?
God: Time to release some biblical wrath on those Philistines that invented autocorrect.

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