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January 05, 2018


Woman’s asparagus tells her Theresa May’s going to quit this year


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I've found that kohlrabi is better for presaging.

And yes I had to look up the word "presage".

Her predictions stink

Ha ! Economists use this method all the time. I'm not impressed.

Someone should flip Jemima over their shoulder and tell her they were fulfilling a much needed prophecy.

I thought presage was something you do to food before adding sage.

Sounds like Jemima needs a hobby.

  • Earthquakes and volcanic eruptions will occur around the globe.
  • Politics will be rocked by a string of scandals.

Wow... really going out on a limb there. If only other seeresses were this bold and imaginative.

Well, all asparagus is essentially French, so we know how to take THAT.

But at least she makes excellent pancake syrup. I kinda imagined her to look differenty, though.

Wait, she predicted it would rain in England in the summer? Wow. Call me when she predicts snow in Syracuse.

No major sporting achievements for our national teams."

Wait. Stop the presses.

Something's definitely going on here...in a dream Teresa May told me not to eat asparagus.

I predict hollandaise sauce stocks will get a bump and then suddenly nosedive. Theresa May will first deny any involvement, then apologize and sack her Minister of Dressings.

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