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December 21, 2017
'THERE'S THOUSANDS OF HERRING ALL OVER THE ROAD AREA'
Truck flips, causing massive fish spill on Route 480
(Thanks to William Price)
'I CANNOT RUN FAST'
Man with world’s largest penis is now registered disabled
NSFW
(Thanks to Al Barkafski and Michael Parry)
OH THE HUMANITY, DUDE
4 million joints-worth of cannabis burned to generate heat for Munich homes
(Thanks to Jay Brandes)
AND IN SPORTS
Someone stole Charlie Villanueva's toilet
(Thanks to Steve K, who says "BOLO, and yes, the police have nothing to go on.")
FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS
Beetle genitals could hold key to better medical tools
(Thanks to Andrew Mendez, who saw them open for Foghat) (Also thanks to Ralph)
December 20, 2017
IF IT'S NOT ONE THING, IT'S ANOTHER
Loud orgies of Mexican fish could deafen dolphins, say scientists
(Thanks to Jay Brandes and Patty Villanova)
We saw LOOMF open for the Carpenters.
MIAMI DINING REPORT
A live rodent was floating in a restaurant sink. Others pooped all over the place
This has been your Miami Dining Report.
(Thanks to John W)
TENSION CONTINUES TO MOUNT IN FLATHEAD COUNTY
4:01 p.m. A local resident called police because someone had lied on their online dating profile.
(Thanks to Craig Roberts and Roberto)
DEFINITELY COOLER THAN A LAWN FLAMINGO
House with 25ft shark in the roof to be made national treasure
(Thanks to Le Petomane)
THE SCIENCE IS SETTLED
ATTENTION, DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL COMMITTEE
Once again, "123456" is the worst password of the year, followed by "password."
(Thanks to The Perts)
WHERE THE FUN NEVER STOPS BEING FUN
Women brawl in front of kids party at Chuck E. Cheese’s
(Thanks to Le Petomane, Ranald Adams, Michael Moyer, Chris Elzi and Al Barkafski)
Mom pepper sprays grandmother at Metairie Chuck E. Cheese's birthday party
(Thanks to bayou girl)
*BAD* KAI
Woman's missing false teeth found in 'guilty-looking' pet dog
(Thanks to Ralph)
December 19, 2017
LIKE WE GIVE A CRAP
Miami ranked among ‘least caring’ cities in America
(Thanks to Suzie Q Wacvet)
WHATEVER IT IS, YOU KNOW IT WON'T BE COVERED BY YOUR HOMEOWNER'S INSURANCE
A Mysterious Blob of Hot Rock Is Building Up Under America's Northeast
(Thanks to Jim Kenaston and coscolo)
IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR
AND YOU THOUGHT 2017 COULDN'T GET ANY WORSE
Robots and humans CAN make babies creating new hybrid species
(Thanks to al Barkafski and Allen at Division)
WE'RE GONNA NEED MORE DORITOS
Massachusetts marijuana aficionados have rolled a 100-foot-long (30.48-meter) joint.
(Thanks to the Louisiana Bureau, D Shey and Le Petomane)
December 18, 2017
SPORTS GUYS IN ACTION
The tailgating before Sunday's Bills-Dolphins game was so intense, one guy lit himself on fire
Note that he's a Buffalo fan.
HO HO HO
HEY, IT'S 2017
Scientists Say Japanese Monkeys Are Having 'Sexual Interactions' With Deer
(Thanks to Patty Villanova, Steve K., D Shey and A.C.)
'CONSIDERED SLEEPWEAR'
An airline lounge denied this woman access because she was wearing Uggs
(Thanks to Ralph)
Who sleeps in Uggs?
AW
BUT NOT NECESSARILY A *GOOD* THING
Eyebrows decorated like Christmas trees are now a thing
(Thanks to Roberto and fractalist)
NO DOUBT HEADED FOR FLORIDA
December 17, 2017
TASTEFUL
GUYS IN ACTION
Car crashes after occupants take turns pulling emergency brake on freeway
(Thanks to Craig Roberts)
'CHESTER! I KNOW WHAT IT WAS!'
Calgary man sees Nativity scene inside his Kielbasa Wellington
(Thanks to Ralph)
STAND TALL, XIANGNIAN FOOD CO.
Noodle measuring nearly 2 miles long breaks Guinness record
(Thanks to Bob Brogan)
December 16, 2017
THAT EXPLAINS THE SCREECHING
Mechanic performing oil change finds owl under car’s hood in Salem
(Thanks to Ralph, who says "not firing on owl cylinders.")
THE BATTLE FOR BABY JESUS
Sheep, Mary tussle over baby Jesus in children's pageant gone hilariously awry
(Thanks to L. Raymond)
The video at the link didn't work for us, but the Facebook video linked in the story did.
MEANWHILE IN GOLF
ALWAYS EXCELLENT
The funniest animals from the 2017 Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards
(Thanks to The Perts)
FLORIDA DEMANDS A RECOUNT
Best and Worst Drivers by State 2017
(Thanks to Moe Money)
KNOWN BY WHOM?
Scientists Find Earliest Known Penis
(Thanks to funny man, "who didn't know it was missing.")
THE GOOD NEWS: HE PROBABLY WON'T REMEMBER
Man arrested after urinating on £70 worth of Pot Noodles
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
THAT'S THE POINT
Even Small Amounts of Alcohol Impair Memory
(Thanks to Wiredog)
December 15, 2017
IN THAT CASE SIR, YOU ARE FREE TO GO
Oregon man claims Taylor Swift told him to stab stranger
(Thanks to Steve K. who says "He does seem like her type.")
AND ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THAT BRIDGE IS FLORIDA
Man rescued after driving into river, Ohio police say he thought there was a bridge there
(Thanks to Bill Carver)
CSI: WEST VIRGINIA
Jealous Boyfriend Set Strip Joint Fire
(Thanks to James Flynn)
'ON SUSPICION OF DRUNK DRIVING'
Driver arrested after Mercedes ends up wedged upright in London street
(Thanks to Nigel Grout)
GUYS IN ACTION
Man demonstrates how to fell tree with a shotgun
(Thanks to Bob Brogan)
'SOME IN JEDI COSTUME'
A FEEL-GOOD STORY FROM PHATTHALUNG PROVINCE
They transported it in a motorcycle sidecar.
(Thanks to Ralph)
WE'RE WITH IT
Rude tit swoops in and steals squirrel’s nut
(Thanks to Ralph)
LOOKING FOR A UNIQUE HOLIDAY GIFT?
(Thanks to Allen at Division and Unholy Slacker)
WE THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME
(Thanks to Le Petomane)
FIRST THE POOPING BOMB DOG AT MIDWAY, AND NOW THIS
Two polar bears chased off runway in Utqiagvik
(Thanks to Jane from Kenai)