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December 20, 2017

MIAMI DINING REPORT

A live rodent was floating in a restaurant sink. Others pooped all over the place

This has been your Miami Dining Report.

(Thanks to John W)

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If you invite the rats as guests to your holiday celebration, many bring a covered dish to pass that is beloved by all

Only the best rodents eat here.

But The Blog doesn't give a crap. Obviously it gives lots, very generously.

That should read The Blog said Miami doesn't give a crap...

I wish I had read this after breakfast.

Snobbish diners will gladly pay $49.95 for Roast Rodent with Poop Au Jus.

"One lonely dry dropping in a dish cupboard."

Isn't that the opening line in Hemingway's "To Have and Have Not"?

I mean, it was alive, right? Isn't that better than having a dead rodent floating in the sink?

Waiter, what's this rat doing in my sink?

The backstroke. >rimshot<

Thank you. I'll be here all week. Remember to tip your wait staff.

To continue with Stixnstonz bad Hemingway theme--and why not?

"We sat in the outdoor garden area of the Miami grill.
The weather was growing angry, but is was more pleasant outside. We were sipping whiskey sodas and they were good.
Eve kept staring at the high eve of the grill. The dried and mummified carcass of a rat had been there for years.
No one has explained what that rat was seeking at such an elevation."

An American Tail - Fievel Goes South Florida

If "Whiskey Creek Hideout" is in the locale's name, I doubt the patrons go there for the cuisine.

@ Le Petomane -
"The food looked good but she only picked at it not out of a lack of appetite but more out of lack of caring for anything or anyone at that moment. The steak was steaming. I ate it. I had neither the desire nor the ability to hold back any longer. She didn't care about my feelings, my desires, my needs. I didn't care about the 'Closed by Order of Dade County Health Inspector' sign."

"I LOVE the ambiance!"--Remy, from that Disney movie

On the positive side, no Burmese pythons were found!

@ Styxnstonz-
The door to Harry's Grill opened. Two men dressed in dark suits walked out.
"It's the sign" George said
"Being closed by the health department does that." Nick said.
"Yes," George said, "It is a bad thing."
"But you were sleeping with the inspector's wife," nick said.
"I hate thinking about being closed down,"George said.
"Then you'd better not think about it," Nick said.

@ Le Petomane (clapping)

The Burmese python's are all in their burrows, curled up with a tummy ache from eating so many rodents.

K: What's for afters?

M: Rat cake, rat sorbet, rat pudding, or strawberry tart.

K: (eyes lighting up) Strawberry tart?

M: Well, it's got *some* rat in it.

K: 'Ow much?

M: Three. Rather a lot, really.

K: Well, I'll have a slice without so much rat in it.

I'll be setting on the Geezer Bus.

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