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December 15, 2017


8:46 a.m. A Martin City woman called 911 and said, “You’ll never help me.” Then she went on and listed her grievances.

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)


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What planet do these Montanans come from?

"A Kalispell woman called police because her 15-year-old son wouldn’t stop bothering her."

Send the SWAT Team. Preferably in an APC.

Sounds like a Jewish mother. "Don't worry about me; I'll just sit here in the dark."

I read this tidbit in the book How to Be a Jewish Mother: Give your son Marvin two sports shirts. The first time he wears one of them, give a suffering sigh and say "So, the other one you didn't like?"

What should have happened but didn't:
She was advised to get a therapist.

Like every ex-wife ever. Poor dispatcher. But then, it's Flathead. Maybe that's entertainment.

"In that case, Ma'am, I'm hanging up!"

wanderer, I'm frequently accused of being a Jewish mother. If my kids don't call me for a few days I'll tell them it's okay because someday I won't be around and they won't have to worry about calling me anymore. Then I'll say I wish I could call my mother, God rest her soul. If I call them, when they answer, I'll say, "Oh good. You're not dead". It drives them crazy.
A Kalispell couple was trying to get high but their kids were being a major buzz-kill, so they locked the kids outside in the cold.
Next time they should send the kids to Grandma's house.

nursecindy, you should tell your kids that you haven't eaten in days because, heaven forbid, they should call just when you had a mouthful of food.

Thanks klezmerphan! I'm definitely going to use that one.

Meanwhile, there is a large frightened homeless goat wearing a collar, dragging a chain in the snow, shivering from the cold. And 911 is too busy listening to some whining woman's problems to save that poor goat.

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