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December 25, 2017


Florida man beats ATM, says it gave too much cash

(Thanks to Le Petomane and Steve K.)


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It had it coming,
It had it coming,
It only had itself to blame.
If you had been there,
If you had seen it,
I know that you would have done the same.

--With apologies to Leiber & Stoller

Those things are built like tanks. Seems if you punched them, they'd just laugh at you.


ATM: All The Merriment

"Honey, do you have change for a five?"

"All I have is twenties."

"Yes, I was late for work and I'm really sorry about her missing central incisors."

Auntie Em? Whatever did she do to... oh, nevermind.

All my ATM ever says to me is "Insufficient Balance", which, I guess, means the machine is not level?

Figures. I never get three cherries or three whatevers when I play those things.

I hate when the guy after me hits a jack pot just after I leave the machine.

Seems to me the bank owes Oleksik a reward rather than a criminal charge. By damaging the defective ATM, he prevented it from handing out wads of cash to other less honorable users. Of course, we don't know how much extra money it was providing.

Lord, give me the chance to show I would behave much more respectably.


The correct response, anywhere else, would be to say "Thank you."

Only in Miami...

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