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(Thanks to Kevin Smith, Patty Villanova, Le Petomane, Ralph and coscolo, who says "device being hacked in 3... 2... 1...")
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"So, Smart Condom, how did I do?"
"Well, son, on the Stud to Dud Meter, I have to give you a 2.6 out of 10. Better luck next time."
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | November 29, 2017 at 06:19 AM
I'd be interested in what sort of user acceptance testing they did.
Posted by: JG | November 29, 2017 at 07:27 AM
Because checking tweets on your smartphone during The Moment isn't awkward enough.
Posted by: wanderer2575 | November 29, 2017 at 07:29 AM
Does it have two-factor authentication with a text message? Yes means yes.
Posted by: Ralph | November 29, 2017 at 07:50 AM
Get ready for the Mother Of All Selfies.
(And just so you know, I would never stoop to saying "Coming soon")
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | November 29, 2017 at 08:17 AM
Smart condoms: when the rubber meets the Rhodes.
Posted by: AmoebaStampede | November 29, 2017 at 08:45 AM
In my experience the women involved provide all the performance feedback I need, thank you very much!...
Posted by: Allen at Division | November 29, 2017 at 09:03 AM
If it starts booing, you know there is room for improvement.
Posted by: Rintinglen | November 29, 2017 at 09:56 AM
A computer report might be less embarrassing than enduring pointing and laughing.
Posted by: Le Petomane | November 29, 2017 at 10:04 AM
Just so it doesn't respond to "Alexa..." Would that be a 3-way?
Wasn't there a story a while ago about an Internet attached vibrator?
Posted by: Loudmouth | November 29, 2017 at 10:22 AM
How will we know if the condom is faking?
Posted by: Dale | November 29, 2017 at 11:52 AM
Another example for the use of SSL, secure socket layer, IYKWIMAITYD
Posted by: LeDud | November 29, 2017 at 12:12 PM
"Installing device driver..."
Posted by: wanderer2575 | November 29, 2017 at 12:36 PM
@AmoebaStampede- [clapping] Well done... I'm nominating that for "Comment of the Year"
Posted by: Stixnstonz | November 29, 2017 at 01:51 PM
I've found that holding up a numbered scorecard afterward works just as well.
Posted by: nursecindy | November 29, 2017 at 03:22 PM
And a 2.1 from the Bulgarian server...
Posted by: fractalist | November 29, 2017 at 03:43 PM
Soon to be a judged talent show, like American Idolatry?
But what if the smart condom is (hacked/programmed) to be a smart-ass condom? (And don't even ask how you would put it on your ass...)
Posted by: funny man | November 29, 2017 at 04:14 PM
Oh I hope it has slide whistle sound effects.
Posted by: Rudolph | November 29, 2017 at 05:21 PM
The condoms communicate using Blueball wireless technology.
Posted by: Elf Odin | November 29, 2017 at 06:11 PM
Shocking
Posted by: normnuke | November 30, 2017 at 12:16 AM
Oh, my, Stixnstonz! I hope the smart condom can say thanks on my behalf because I'm speechless. Or at least a little Trojan hoarse.
Posted by: AmoebaStampede | December 01, 2017 at 07:48 AM