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November 29, 2017


World’s first ‘smart condom’ collects intimate data during sex and tells men whether their performance is red-hot or a total flop

(Thanks to Kevin Smith, Patty Villanova, Le Petomane, Ralph and coscolo, who says "device being hacked in 3... 2... 1...")


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"So, Smart Condom, how did I do?"

"Well, son, on the Stud to Dud Meter, I have to give you a 2.6 out of 10. Better luck next time."

I'd be interested in what sort of user acceptance testing they did.

Because checking tweets on your smartphone during The Moment isn't awkward enough.

Does it have two-factor authentication with a text message? Yes means yes.

Get ready for the Mother Of All Selfies.

(And just so you know, I would never stoop to saying "Coming soon")

Smart condoms: when the rubber meets the Rhodes.

In my experience the women involved provide all the performance feedback I need, thank you very much!...

If it starts booing, you know there is room for improvement.

A computer report might be less embarrassing than enduring pointing and laughing.

Just so it doesn't respond to "Alexa..." Would that be a 3-way?

Wasn't there a story a while ago about an Internet attached vibrator?

How will we know if the condom is faking?

Another example for the use of SSL, secure socket layer, IYKWIMAITYD

"Installing device driver..."

@AmoebaStampede- [clapping] Well done... I'm nominating that for "Comment of the Year"

I've found that holding up a numbered scorecard afterward works just as well.

And a 2.1 from the Bulgarian server...

Soon to be a judged talent show, like American Idolatry?

But what if the smart condom is (hacked/programmed) to be a smart-ass condom? (And don't even ask how you would put it on your ass...)

Oh I hope it has slide whistle sound effects.

The condoms communicate using Blueball wireless technology.


Oh, my, Stixnstonz! I hope the smart condom can say thanks on my behalf because I'm speechless. Or at least a little Trojan hoarse.

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