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November 11, 2017

'FITNESS FANATIC'

A fitness fanatic was rushed to hospital after getting his penis stuck in a hole in a weight.

...It is not known how exactly the man managed to get his penis stuck in the plate.

Because it could easily happen accidentally.

(Thanks to Stan Ruth)

Comments

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I'm sure nursecindy could regale us for hours with men "accidentally" getting things stuck in them, or their appendages getting stuck in other things.

Three things you do NOT want to see in the same sentence:

penis
grinder
vibrating saw

I'm sure there is a perfectly innocent explanation.

I see another GEICO commercial coming staring this guy as the brofessor or maybe the brodeo clown.

He will learn next time to use Olympic weights, for a 2" (50mm) bar, instead of those weeny little 1" (25.4mm) bar plates for his sexual pleasure.

Adds a whole new meaning to "Pumping Iron."

Some people just love their workouts.

A dumbbell got stuck in a free weight? Amazing!

He still doesn't beat the guy I treated that had his stuck in his wedding ring. We had to use a jeweler's saw to remove it. Since he was so embarrassed I decided not to tell him how stupid I thought he was.

NC- was that a typo? A wedding ring?

See also one of the early scenes of the Baywatch movie--his whole package was stuck between the slats of a beach chair.

Many years ago when I was working in mental hospitals, some dude came into the ER of a nearby hospital with his willie stuck in a glass Coke bottle. But the people who were working there made the most of it.
"If it's stuck in a Coke bottle, it's the real thing."
"I'd like to teach the world to scream."
Poor guy never had any real damage done to his little tool and certainly received no sympathy. If only we had had cell phones with cameras in those days...

In my guy's defense it was a large wedding ring and he wasn't excited, iykwim, when he did this. He was also very, very drunk.
Le Petomane we only said things like that behind the patient's backs!

NC--Yep, we had the same class. Actually, I just was told about this one second hand. We always saved our few tidbits of fun for happy hour talk. Working in a State Mental Hospital we never had many fun things to deal with on a firsthand basis and were always professional dealing with patients.

Boy, you're going to carry that weight,
Carry that weight a long time
Boy, you're going to carry that weight
Carry that weight a long time

I never give you my pillow
I only send you my invitations
And in the middle of the celebrations
I break down

Boy, you're going to carry that weight
Carry that weight a long time
Boy, you're going to carry that weight
Carry that weight a long time

Songwriting credit: Lennon - McCartney

I can see how this could happen innocently enough:
You're getting ready for your naked weight-lifting session; you consider using the five-pound plate to warm up, but at the last second decide to jump right to the ten-pounder, and in the sudden blur of confusion and activity, you accidentally put one on the bar and the other on your schlong. By the time you realize your mistake, you figure, "Well, I'm definitely not admitting I goofed, at least not in front of all these other lifters," so you nonchalantly finish your reps, and by the time you get out of the post-workout shower, things have swollen.
That's why I use the machines. The only risk there is a fungal infection.

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