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October 27, 2017


As pacemakers and other implantable devices become more common, so are crematoria explosions.

Key Quote: Statistics for the U.S. are scarce, perhaps because letting it get out that you blew up someone’s grandfather wouldn’t be good for business.

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)


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Can we have the ashes?

Look around.

Didn’t Exploding Pacemakers open for Cher?

"Grandma, tell me again the story of when Grandpa blew up the funeral Parlor."

I saw the Crematoria Explosions open for the Tuff Darts. I'll never forget the encore "Your Love Is Like A Nuclear Waste". Priceless

Does this also apply to WIFI butt plugs?

Blasted are the pacemakers, for they shall demerit the hearth.

*bows to Amoeba* You win the “blog post of the day” award!

I thought blood pressure medicine was supposed to stop that.

Didn't Crematoria Explosions open for Rob Zombie?

Why, thank you, klez, I'm honored! Like the folks in this story, may you get to go out with a bang.

^ Damn, I just noticed that's the title of the article. [Returns ribbon, certificate, and two-pound pimento loaf that come with the award]

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