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As pacemakers and other implantable devices become more common, so are crematoria explosions.
Key Quote: Statistics for the U.S. are scarce, perhaps because letting it get out that you blew up someone’s grandfather wouldn’t be good for business.
(Thanks to Chuck Cody)
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Can we have the ashes?
Look around.
Posted by: manual tomato | October 27, 2017 at 05:55 PM
Didn’t Exploding Pacemakers open for Cher?
Posted by: Not Not My Usual Alias | October 27, 2017 at 05:58 PM
"Grandma, tell me again the story of when Grandpa blew up the funeral Parlor."
Posted by: Le Petomane | October 27, 2017 at 06:54 PM
I saw the Crematoria Explosions open for the Tuff Darts. I'll never forget the encore "Your Love Is Like A Nuclear Waste". Priceless
Posted by: 655321 | October 27, 2017 at 07:16 PM
Does this also apply to WIFI butt plugs?
Posted by: ImNotDave | October 28, 2017 at 07:03 AM
Blasted are the pacemakers, for they shall demerit the hearth.
Posted by: AmoebaStampede | October 28, 2017 at 11:37 AM
*bows to Amoeba* You win the “blog post of the day” award!
Posted by: klezmerphan | October 28, 2017 at 02:37 PM
I thought blood pressure medicine was supposed to stop that.
Posted by: funny man | October 28, 2017 at 04:28 PM
Didn't Crematoria Explosions open for Rob Zombie?
Posted by: PirateBoy | October 28, 2017 at 05:37 PM
Why, thank you, klez, I'm honored! Like the folks in this story, may you get to go out with a bang.
Posted by: AmoebaStampede | October 28, 2017 at 10:14 PM
^ Damn, I just noticed that's the title of the article. [Returns ribbon, certificate, and two-pound pimento loaf that come with the award]
Posted by: AmoebaStampede | October 28, 2017 at 10:26 PM