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September 23, 2017

AUSTRALIAN WILDLIFE REPORT

Giant goldfish discovery sparks warning not to flush

This has been the Australian Wildlife Report.

(Thanks to Ralph)

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"Honey, before you give Goldie a whirlpool burial, I need you to make sure he's really dead."

"Sniff. Okay Daddy. Sob."

The fish looked a little flush, right before it was...

Thanks for the evening posts, Dave!

My goldfish were trying to have a protest yesterday. Inspired by their free range compatriots, they want an above ground pool in the basement

I saw them open for Neil Young & Crazy Horse.

Heckuva show.

We're gonna need a bigger bowl.

So you flush dead little 2" Goldie down, and a few days later, it's GoldfishNado?

I'm skeptical, but get Spielberg on the phone!

It's amazing the alligators, venomous snakes, duckbill platypus and the like didn't dine on those big goldfish long ago.

"Local authorities fear the goldfish could introduce disease..." You mean, in the estuary that you're flushing your toilets into?

La Petomane, perhaps all those species have figured out that those gold fish for some reason always taste like crap.

I'm no plumbing expert, but it seems like their wastewater treatment facility might not be up to snuff. (I'm no snuff expert either, so take that for what it's (not its) worth.)

Could goldfish survive passage through Dave Barry Lift Station no. 16?

I'm surprised no one has said it, so here goes:
We're gonna need more tartar sauce.

Exactly what "radioactive materials" do this goldfish swim through to become Hulk-like goldfish?

Goldfish are only more-colorful carp. Unfit for human consumption!

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