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June 30, 2017

ALASKA: NOT REALLY SUITABLE FOR HUMANS

‘Mom, Dad, there’s a bear in my room’

(Thanks to Jane Linderman from the Kenai Peninsula)

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You may now feel free to change your underwear.

"Oh, Timmy, next you'll say there's a monster under---HOLY HOLY HOLY CRAP!"

I saw a bear crossing US 50 in the mountains of Virginia one August.

Such much better than a Python.

If I were Zach I'd demand an upstairs bedroom like Mom and Dad's.

Zach tells a great story! Most 11-year-olds would not have gone so far as to break the window from the outside and make "claw marks" on the walls just to stay up and watch a movie and eat popcorn.

I think the police terminology is a Reverse Goldilocks

And kids, that's why your room should always be kept clean in case a large carnivores predator comes in and police take pictures

Zach tells the story very eloquently. Most adults, much less 11 year-olds, would have said something like "This big f***ing bear crashed into my room and scared the s*** out of me! I ran upstairs and all hell broke loose and now there's goddam glass all over the f***ing carpet!"

Perhaps the bear held true to the saying about where it does its business, but I'm guessing Zach may not have.

Zach needs to relax with another Disney song.

If it had only been a beer in his room....

In Florida, we have something called "impact windows". It keeps both hurricanes and wildlife outside, where they belong.

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