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May 31, 2017
JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT THINGS COULD NOT GET ANY WORSE
Found: America’s Third Species of Flying Squirrel
(Thanks to John Mayson, who says "You mean people were looking?")
OR ROUGHLY ONE-TENTH OF WHAT YOU'LL OWE THE GASTROENTEROLOGIST
This Restaurant Will Pay You $900 If You Can Eat 20 Pounds of Rice and Curry in an Hour
(Thanks to funny man)
NO DOUBT HE WAS BACKING TOWARD FLORIDA
Idiot backing up on the highway causes multiple car accidents
People do this on Miami expressways all the time.
Autoplay.
(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias)
A TOTALLY RATIONAL RESPONSE
Deprived of popcorn at movie theater, Tennessee man assaults cop
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
THESE KIDS TODAY
Teenagers Are Wearing Croissants to the Prom
(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)
WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR THE BEATLES
RESEARCHERS TEST SELF-DESTRUCTING MOTH PEST IN CABBAGE PATCH
(Thanks to Le Petomane)
OOPS
Monk Uses Wrong Marker Pen On Man’s Car
(Thanks to Phil McAvity)
THE ANSERS WILL SUPRISE YOU
What Are the Most Misspelled Words in Every State?
(Thnaks to The Purts)
THOSE TERRORIST BASTARDS
Police evacuate Beaverton 7-Eleven after microwave explosion, find urine sample
(Thanks to Gordon Breault)
STANLEY CUP UPDATE
"Waddell said he vacuum sealed the fish and placed inside his compression shorts."
This has been your Stanley Cup Update.
(Thanks to Ralph)
SNAKES MAKING NEWS
Ugandan Woman Claims To Give Birth To Twins Which One Is A Big Python Snake
Snake regurgitates another snake, which is still alive
(Thanks to Rick Day, Layla and Ralph)
WHY? WE ALREADY HAVE I-95
May 30, 2017
RIBBIT
(Thanks to Le Petomane)
WE BLAME GLOBAL CLIMATE CHANGE
WWII grenades from German flea market blow up in summer heat
(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias)
TRAFFIC ADVISORY
Two camels cause a massive traffic jam in the desert by mating in the middle of a motorway in Dubai
(Thanks to Patty Villanova and Layla)
SIGNS THAT A RELATIONSHIP MAY BE IN TROUBLE
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
CANADIAN TERROR UPDATE
(Thanks to The Perts)
NOW WE WANT TO HUG ONE
KZN earthworms get English names to be more relatable to the public
(Thanks to Ralph, who asks "Didn’t Disorderly-Bristled Stumpy Earthworm open for Country Joe and the Fish?")
AND IF THEY HAVE SINNED, IT CAN VAPORIZE THEM
Robot 'priest' can beam light from its hands and give automated blessings to worshippers
(Thanks to Rob Simbeck and Le Petomane)
AND IN SPORTS
Kung Fu master uses his penis to pull enormous HELICOPTER in latest bizarre world record
(Thanks to DaninDallas, Catherine DeLorey, Jim Kenaston and Patty Villanova)
Some day we will live in a greener world in which all of our freight trains are pulled by Kung Fu masters.
May 29, 2017
JUST IN CASE YOU ARE THE ONE PERSON LEFT ON THE PLANET
...who has not yet seen this.
(Thanks to Ralph)
THIS BLOG CANNOT KEEP UP ANY MORE
People Are Now Into Fidget Spinner Porn
(Thanks to Ralph)
THE SCIENCE IS SETTLED, BRO
Flat Earther confronts NASA employee with ‘proof’ the world is actually flat
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
MEMORIAL DAY
Have a good one. But please remember -- and please remind your kids -- why it's called Memorial Day.
May 28, 2017
SPORTS UPDATE FROM JAPAN
FIRST GLOBAL CLIMATE CHANGE, AND NOW THIS
(Thanks to David Emery, who believes the Meat-Eating Sponges opened for the Dead Kennedys)
ALL ABOARD!
Woman, 45, claims she is 'married' to a train station - which she has sex with 'in her mind'
(Thanks to John Mayson)
FLORIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Tots Trapped in Bounce House After Neighbor Unplugs It
And stay off his lawn.
(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias)
BECAUSE WHAT WE NEED NOW IS DRUNK ALLIGATORS
2 men charged after SnapChat shows alligator forced to drink beer
Amazing Fact: Not Florida!
(Thanks to Al Barkafski and Matt Filar)
THE SQUIRRELS WERE BEHIND THIS
Great white shark jumps into fisherman's boat, injuring 73-year-old man
(Thanks to Rick Day and Jay Brandes)
WE MIGHT AS WELL SHRED THE DAMN CONSTITUTION
Judge denies accused man's request to juggle during trial
(Thanks to Le Petomane)
May 26, 2017
FLORIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
NOT SCREWED UP AT ALL!
(Thanks to Patty Villanova and Allen at Division)
WE AGREE, IF YOU MEAN 'SURPRISING' IN THE SENSE OF 'STUPID'
4 Surprising Ways to Use Beer This Summer (Besides Drinking It)
(Thanks to MOTW)
OUR ADVICE IS, DON'T ASK OREGON TO HELP
YOU KNOW WHO TAUGHT THEM TO DO THIS
Monkey mafia steal your stuff, then sell it back for a cracker
(Thanks to Patty Villanova, Le Petomane, Allen at Division and funny man)
'BOT DYLAN'
Computer composes new tunes after being trained on 23,000 Irish folk songs
It won't really work until they train it to drink Guinness.
(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)
AHOY
APPARENTLY THE DRIVER DIDN'T SEE THE RED LIGHT
Tractor-trailer crashes into famed ‘Bunny Ranch’ Nevada brothel
(Thanks to funny man and Richard Steurer)
UPDATE ON THE WORSENING SITUATION IN CANADA
(Thanks to Ralph)
SHE WAS RELEASED AFTER PRODUCING A VALID ETC.
VERKING OF THE BEATS
Here’s What Happened When Computers Tried Naming Metal Bands
(Thanks to L. Raymond)
WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR THE CLASH
Machete-Wielding Clown Tries To Hitchhike Along Busy California Highway
Autoplay.
(Thanks to Jon Harris)
CANADA: THE TERROR CONTINUES
200 frozen turkey pies stolen from Ont. church
(Thanks to The Perts)
NO DOUBT ON HIS WAY TO FLORIDA
THE WACKEN OPEN AIR
German music festival constructs 4-mile beer pipeline
(Thanks to Bob Brogan)
OOPS
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Naked Florida man steals $25K swan sculpture
(Thanks to John Mayson)