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March 30, 2017


Here's a 1991 Chuck E. Cheese University training video on costume maintenance that is totally worth watching today.

(Thanks to Allen at Division)


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Are boxing gloves mandatory...?

Now I understand why violence breaks out there so often...

After watching that training video, I am expecting to have a series of bad dreams and head immediately into therapy.

"What happens when you awake screaming drenched in sweat with blood and pizza strewn over the bodies?"

"The entire room goes 'Oz' with fights breaking out everywhere."

"Do you feel like doing harm to yourself or anyone."

"I feel like punching anyone near me then setting myself on fire."

"So, you are essentially burning you way out of the costume?"

Does it discuss how to properly maintain your shin guards?

Except for more distracting transitions and higher video quality, training videos have not made much progress in 26 years.

Advanced Debaters: Which is scarier, Stephen King's Pennywise in the new Version of "IT", or the Rat in the
'training video." Show your work and avoid ad-hominems.

Also scary: That There is a Chuck E.Cheese University.

By watching this video you are hereby qualified to put a BSc on your resume when running for the Congress.

For our male performers, never forget your squeaking codpiece.

Previously called Trump University?

I thought the costume was assigned as punishment.

As they would have said in 1991, "Gag me with a spoon".

"Every guest leaves happy!"

..... because they're leaving. Duh.

I couldn't watch more than 35 seconds. I've never been to a Yuck E. Cheese and plan to keep it that way.

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