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March 06, 2017


Man tried to rob a fish and chip shop with a banana

(Thanks to Allen at Division)


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My banana control bill will take care of that once and for all.

I wonder what he'd have gotten if he'd used a zucchini.

As is not infrequently the case with ridiculous news stories, Monty Python has a related skit: How to defend yourself against a banana!


A healthy food item in a fish and chips shop? That's like pairing kryptonite and Superman.

'Detective Johnston said: ‘I am appealing for information about this terrifying incident,'

whoa, he means (monkey) business

Such appeals are fruitless.

A very In Depth question, Ms. Wacvet ....

He's just lucky the shop owner wasn't John Cleese.

"Did you get a good look at his face?"

"No, but the nametag on the chest of his hoodie read,

Sam Higgins

Safeway Produce Dept.

Officer to clerk--"Wrapping up the report, the perp pulled a banana then split?"

Le Pet - ' yes, & then he jumped the fence with it...'

I see someone has already pointed out MP's Self Defence Against Fresh Fruit, but one could also mention the Fish Slapping Dance.

One can't be too careful.

Maybe he was just happy to see the owner?

Pull the pin out of a pineapple and throw it at them!

Another RENO 911 plot writes itself.

it's not robbery, it's barter!

Was the evidence plantained?

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